Summary: Challenge response.
Prompt (in short): Buffy experiencing grief and longing.
Set in Post-Series, after “Chosen” and during the time frame of AtS S5. Since I needed to establish Buffy’s whereabouts, I borrowed the setting of the Scottish castle from S8 of BtVS comics and the concept of the Slayer Organization. This story is set before the events told in the comic series, time-wise, but it’s entirely unrelated to the comics plotline. Warnings explained in the Story Notes.
Story title is a song by Green Day.
Banner Art By: VeroNyxK84
Categories: Post-Series,
Challenge Response,
Crossover (AtS),
POV,
Sunnydale After Dark Exclusive
Characters: Buffy,
Spike,
Ensemble
Genres: Angst, Drama, Friendship, HEA/HFN, POV, Reunion Warnings: (Click Here To Reveal) Adult Language, Alcohol/Drug Use, Character Death, Other Mental Health Issues, Self-harm, Substance Misuse/Addiction Challenges: Loss
Completed: Yes
Chapters: 10
Word count: 22,446
Hit Count: 4,329
ePub Downloads: 22
Published: 04/23/23
Updated: 05/28/23
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Story Notes: This story is based on a challenge issued by GetItDone — [ link ] and based on a stunning artwork by boiiko titled “Her Memories The Colour Of Smoke” — [ link ]
The warnings about substance use / addiction are there because there’s some of it, but I won’t be lingering on the topic for long.
Self-harm is limited to a short, non-graphic episode in chapter 1 and it won’t happen again.
Character death is only there because Spike's death at the Hellmouth is a central theme, I'm not killing off anyone.
If my wordiness doesn’t get the best of me again, the story should be completed within 10 chapters or less.
I will be updating categories and genres as the story unfolds, I just don’t want to uncover all my cards yet.
This is the first time I’m attempting to write something entirely from Buffy’s POV, and entirely in 1st person, present tense.
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DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
1. It's Home to Me by VeroNyxK84 - Likes: 6 
Comments: 12 Word Count: 1,696 Hit Count: 677 Published: 04/23/23
The First is defeated. The Hellmouth is closed (well, one of them). Sunnydale is no more.
Many lives were saved, some lives were lost.
Battle’s done and we kind of won… where do we go from here?
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Not Beta’d — All mistakes are on me
2. Check My Vital Signs by VeroNyxK84 - Likes: 6 Comments: 8 Word Count: 1,762 Hit Count: 456 Published: 04/27/23
The world has changed, rules are rewritten, the natural order of things is subverted.
For every choice there’s a consequence. Some are easier to deal with, some harder.
Sometimes you just want to run from them...
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Not beta'd — All mistakes are on me
3. Borderline of the Edge by VeroNyxK84 - Likes: 5 Comments: 4 Word Count: 2,155 Hit Count: 421 Published: 05/01/23
The thing about running from consequences is…
… sometimes they still find a way to catch up with you.
And force you to deal with them
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Not beta'd — All mistakes are on me
4. Everything's All Right by VeroNyxK84 - Likes: 5 Comments: 7 Word Count: 2,288 Hit Count: 408 Published: 05/05/23
Friendship has great healing powers.
Spirit and heart are on the mend. Life goes on, the mission continues.
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Not beta'd — All mistakes are on me
5. Read Between the Lines by VeroNyxK84 - Likes: 5 Comments: 6 Word Count: 2,648 Hit Count: 404 Published: 05/10/23
When unexpected consequences meet shocking truths, you can’t avoid the ripple effect.
Mild warning: implied torture (non-graphic references to Dana’s story from AtS 5x11 “Damage”)
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Not beta’d — All mistakes are on me
6. Somewhere In My Mind by VeroNyxK84 - Likes: 5 Comments: 6 Word Count: 2,068 Hit Count: 401 Published: 05/14/23
There’s a fine line between truth and lies.
And it marks the distance between trust and betrayal.
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Not beta’d — All mistakes are on me
7. The Line that Divides Me by VeroNyxK84 - Likes: 6 Comments: 9 Word Count: 2,268 Hit Count: 389 Published: 05/18/23
Back to California, back to the start.
Finding some closure and, maybe, hope for a new beginning.
Heads-up: There’s Bangel content, but I promise that ‘hellos with tongue’ are banished from this place.
Thank you heaps to the SAD Staff for the feature! ⭐
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Not beta’d — All mistakes are on me
8. My Shallow Heart (part I) by VeroNyxK84 - Likes: 5 Comments: 6 Word Count: 3,044 Hit Count: 381 Published: 05/22/23
What do you do when you’re about to see someone again after believing for six months that he was gone?
I say, let your guts lead you… well, until your heart decides to take over, anyway.
Trust me, it will.
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Not beta’d — All mistakes are on me
9. My Shallow Heart (part II) by VeroNyxK84 - Likes: 5 Comments: 8 Word Count: 3,210 Hit Count: 428 Published: 05/24/23
Sometimes things don’t turn out the way you expected them to.
Sometimes it’s the best thing that could happen…
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Not beta’d — All mistakes are on me
10. Epilogue by VeroNyxK84 - Likes: 9 Comments: 7 Word Count: 1,307 Hit Count: 364 Published: 05/28/23
What's a Slayer's life like after preventing an apocalypse?
You enjoy some well-earned rest. Until the next one beeps.
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Not beta’d — All mistakes are on me
