Summary: Working at Helen’s Kitchen can drain the life out of you- too bad Buffy doesn’t have much of a life left. So really it shouldn’t be a surprise that running into Spike is enough to throw what little she still has up in the air. A chance encounter sends the Slayer and vampire spiraling into the bowels of hell where their only hope of escape is each other. Will the bond they forge there be enough to survive? Or will it destroy them both?
Categories: Season 3, Alternate Universe, Episode Rewrite
Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Action/Adventure, Angst, Dark, Drama, Fighting, Friendship, Horror, Slow Burn, UST
Warnings: (Click Here To Reveal) Adult Language, Attempted Suicide, Buffy/Other (Temp), Other Mental Health Issues, Sexual Situations, Spike/Other (Temp), Suicidal Ideation/Thoughts, Violence
Completed: Yes Chapters: 30
Word count: 112,834 Hit Count: 2,324 ePub Downloads: 29
Published: 07/20/23 Updated: 10/19/23
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Characters: Buffy, Spike
Genres: Action/Adventure, Angst, Dark, Drama, Fighting, Friendship, Horror, Slow Burn, UST
Warnings: (Click Here To Reveal) Adult Language, Attempted Suicide, Buffy/Other (Temp), Other Mental Health Issues, Sexual Situations, Spike/Other (Temp), Suicidal Ideation/Thoughts, Violence
Completed: Yes Chapters: 30
Word count: 112,834 Hit Count: 2,324 ePub Downloads: 29
Published: 07/20/23 Updated: 10/19/23
Print or Download Story:
Share Story: Tweet
View All Chapters
Story Notes: A story set at the cusp of season 3 that goes very AU over the course of the first episode, Anne.
A few of you may recognize this fic from EF or AO3, where I've been posting it up till now. I will continue posting it on those sites but as the planned sequel starts to take on a clearer shape it seems more and more likely that SAD could be a better fit for it. This fic is completely written and beta'd with 30 chapters at the time of posting. I will try to post updates every Thursday! Better yet, because EF and AO3 have a bit of a head-start on this fic I'll be posting here in double-time! That's two chapters a week, maybe even 3 if they're closely related. Not sure yet if it will work better to post two chapters at a time or space them a couple days apart; let me know what you think!
Thank you so, so much to the wonderful Kittyfantastico over on EF for being my beta reader on this. I wouldn’t be posting this without her! I cannot fully express my gratitude for her advice and grammatical corrections, I desperately needed them.
The banner was commissioned from the incredible hydroflorix! Their work can be found on tumblr and other sites.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
This is a work of fiction; any medical or psychological information presented herein should not be taken as advice. Please read warnings before proceeding.
The Buffy/ Other warning is for her reminiscing about Angel and the Spike/Other is mostly for him reminiscing about Drusilla; neither party are actively a couple during the duration of this fic.
A few of you may recognize this fic from EF or AO3, where I've been posting it up till now. I will continue posting it on those sites but as the planned sequel starts to take on a clearer shape it seems more and more likely that SAD could be a better fit for it. This fic is completely written and beta'd with 30 chapters at the time of posting. I will try to post updates every Thursday! Better yet, because EF and AO3 have a bit of a head-start on this fic I'll be posting here in double-time! That's two chapters a week, maybe even 3 if they're closely related. Not sure yet if it will work better to post two chapters at a time or space them a couple days apart; let me know what you think!
Thank you so, so much to the wonderful Kittyfantastico over on EF for being my beta reader on this. I wouldn’t be posting this without her! I cannot fully express my gratitude for her advice and grammatical corrections, I desperately needed them.
The banner was commissioned from the incredible hydroflorix! Their work can be found on tumblr and other sites.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
This is a work of fiction; any medical or psychological information presented herein should not be taken as advice. Please read warnings before proceeding.
The Buffy/ Other warning is for her reminiscing about Angel and the Spike/Other is mostly for him reminiscing about Drusilla; neither party are actively a couple during the duration of this fic.
1. No One by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 
Comments: 6 Word Count: 1,038 Hit Count: 140 Published: 07/20/23
As mentioned in the Story Notes, I'll try to post 2-3 chapters here a week. Let me know if you'd prefer I post several chapters at a time or you'd prefer to have them spaced out a bit!
2. Shell of a Loser by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 2 Word Count: 906 Hit Count: 108 Published: 07/21/23
Some lines adapted from the episode “Lovers Walk” written by Dan Vebber.
Thank you to Kittyfantastico for beta reading!
3. Try to Forget by temporarytitle - Likes: 6 Comments: 0 Word Count: 1,219 Hit Count: 119 Published: 07/21/23
A big thanks to KittyFantastico for beta reading!
4. Hell Yawns Before You by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 0 Word Count: 3,764 Hit Count: 91 Published: 07/27/23
Here's our next batch, I hope you enjoy chapters 4-6!
And as always, thank you to KittyFantastico for beta reading.
5. Infernal Blood, Infernal Stars by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 0 Word Count: 1,922 Hit Count: 84 Published: 07/27/23
6. Hunger by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 0 Word Count: 601 Hit Count: 79 Published: 07/27/23
Sorry this last one's so short! I kept trying to fit it into another chapter and it just wasn't working. At a certain point, I figured it better to preserve the flow and leave it like this. I'm glad at least I got to post it at the same time as two others! Hopefully that way it doesn't leave you wanting.
7. A Labyrinth by Any Other Name by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 0 Word Count: 2,856 Hit Count: 77 Published: 08/03/23
It's Thursday, so here's chapters 7-9. I hope you like them!
Thank you Kittyfantastico for beta reading!
8. Shall We Dance? by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 2 Word Count: 5,570 Hit Count: 69 Published: 08/03/23
9. Positioning by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 2 Word Count: 2,154 Hit Count: 68 Published: 08/03/23
10. The Vampire in the Room by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 0 Word Count: 6,231 Hit Count: 71 Published: 08/10/23
Only two chapters this week! I've gotta space them out so that I can leave off with certain specific chapters later on.
Warnings for late-90s flavored homophobia and references to past Spike/Angelus. Thank you, as always, to Kittyfantastico for beta reading!
11. Anywhere But Here by temporarytitle - Likes: 6 Comments: 3 Word Count: 3,092 Hit Count: 72 Published: 08/10/23
12. Whether You Look Forward or Back by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 2 Word Count: 3,388 Hit Count: 68 Published: 08/17/23
Three chapters this week! Chapter 14 is one of my favorites in the whole fic, so I really wanted to wrap with that one this week.
Thank you so much Kittyfantastico for beta reading!
13. Light at the End by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 2 Word Count: 2,474 Hit Count: 67 Published: 08/17/23
Warnings for graphic descriptions of gore. Maybe don’t read the last few paragraphs while eating.
14. Open Your Eyes by temporarytitle - Likes: 6 Comments: 2 Word Count: 4,657 Hit Count: 73 Published: 08/17/23
And here it is! Last one for this week, but it's one of my favorite chapters. Hope you all enjoy!
15. Dark and Undying by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 2 Word Count: 2,456 Hit Count: 81 Published: 08/25/23
Sorry I forgot to update yesterday! Had some insanity going on in my personal life that kinda trumped any fun Spuffy stuff. Two chapters for you here though!
First chapter title is a reference to Ursula K. Le Guin's The Tombs of Atuan.
As always, thank you to Kittyfantastico for beta reading!
16. It Would Take a Miracle by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 2 Word Count: 7,624 Hit Count: 76 Published: 08/25/23
This is one of the longest chapters in the fic, I hope you enjoy!
17. The Last Thing I Was Dreaming Of by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 4 Word Count: 3,045 Hit Count: 69 Published: 08/31/23
Two chapters this week! Chapter title is borrowed from Lust to Love by The Go-Go’s, which is a Spuffy song if I’ve ever heard one.
As always, thank you to Kittyfantastico for beta reading!
18. On Your Own by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 2 Word Count: 2,993 Hit Count: 75 Published: 08/31/23
Fun fact: this was one of the first parts I ever wrote for this fic! Obviously it’s changed a lot since its inception, but the heart of it is very much still the same
19. Choices and Chosen by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 2 Word Count: 10,503 Hit Count: 75 Published: 09/07/23
Whew! We’ve made it. This is the chapter I edited and reworked at least ten times. It’s the crux of a lot of stuff to come, so I really wanted to make sure I got it right. I just hope I’ve succeeded. Two chapters this week since originally these were one jumbo chapter.
As always, thank you to Kittyfantastico for beta reading!
20. Hold Your Breath by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 4 Word Count: 3,701 Hit Count: 79 Published: 09/07/23
Some dialogue adapted from “Dead Things”, written by Steven S. DeKnight.
21. Transference by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 4 Word Count: 6,570 Hit Count: 81 Published: 09/14/23
Three chapters this week! But then we're gonna slow it down as we'll basically be caught up with EF and AO3. As always, a big thank you to Kittyfantastico for beta reading!
Some dialogue adapted from “Fool for Love”, written by Douglas Petrie.
22. A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 4 Word Count: 4,367 Hit Count: 73 Published: 09/14/23
Some of Buffy’s dreams are inspired by the Tales of Slayers comics series.
23. Hell to Pay by temporarytitle - Likes: 6 Comments: 2 Word Count: 1,539 Hit Count: 70 Published: 09/14/23
Slightly shorter chapter to end on, but an exciting one nonetheless. See you next week!
24. Hit the Ground Running by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 2 Word Count: 2,382 Hit Count: 68 Published: 09/21/23
Thank you to Kittyfantastico for beta reading! Two chapters this time. Be warned, the next chapter gets pretty heavy.
25. One Step Away by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 4 Word Count: 4,573 Hit Count: 70 Published: 09/21/23
Just a reminder about those warnings on this fic, those suicidal themes are gonna come up here and be pretty crucial to the story going forward.
26. Undead Life by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 2 Word Count: 4,139 Hit Count: 67 Published: 09/29/23
Two chapters this week! Then we'll be slowing the pace down to one a week for the last three.
Thank you to Kittyfantastico for beta reading!
27. Watching You, Watching Me by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 6 Word Count: 4,230 Hit Count: 65 Published: 09/29/23
28. Poison in the Well by temporarytitle - Likes: 6 Comments: 4 Word Count: 4,092 Hit Count: 74 Published: 10/05/23
Just one chapter this week, we're basically caught up! Don't worry though, only two more chapters left after this.
Some inspiration for this chapter was drawn from The Origin comic, written by Dan Brereton and Christopher Golden, illustrated by Joe Bennett, which was meant to be a more canon-compliant adaptation of the 1992 film.
Thanks Kittyfantastico for beta reading!
29. Heavenly Stars, Heavenly Blood by temporarytitle - Likes: 5 Comments: 0 Word Count: 5,036 Hit Count: 57 Published: 10/13/23
I'm really proud of this chapter! Lots of little things brought back from earlier in the fic, particularly chapters 5, 14, 17; I hope you guys like it!
Some dialogue adapted from the episode “Lovers Walk” written by Dan Vebber and “School Hard” by Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt.
Thank you so much to Kittyfantastico for beta reading!
30. Miles to Go by temporarytitle - Likes: 8 Comments: 7 Word Count: 5,712 Hit Count: 58 Published: 10/19/23
Some dialogue adapted from “Fool for Love”, written by Douglas Petrie.
Thank you so, so much to the wonderful Kittyfantastico for being my beta reader on this. I'm truly grateful for your help!