The Initiative Transcript
Written by: Douglas Petrie
Directed by: James A. Contner
This episode was originally broadcast on October 19, 1999
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Cut the the UC Sunnydale cafeteria. Riley is sitting at a table laboring over papers. A friend Forrest is checking out his coeds.
Forrest: Women. Young, nubile, exciting. Each one a mystery, waiting to be unlocked. Think any of them are gonna show? 'Cause the party will be lame if we lack for hotties. Professor? You with me?
Riley: No. I'm with this large pile of ungraded papers, due at 3:00.
Forrest: How are you gonna learn anything if you keep doing schoolwork? Oh...Check her out. Is she hot, or is she hot?
We see Buffy at the soda fountain. She's distracted and her cup starts to over flow.
Riley: (Looks up.) She's buffy.
Forrest: Buffy? I like that. That girl's so hot, she's buffy.
Riley: It's her name, Forrest.
Forrest: You've established first contact? Excellent. What do you think of her?
Riley: I haven't really thought about what I think of her.
Forrest: A girl that cute in the face, and you form no opinion?
Riley: No, I mean, She's all right, I guess. She's just kind of... I don't know.
Peculiar.
We see Buffy break the handle off of the the frozen yogurt machine. She battles with it for a bit.
Forrest: Peculiar? Hi. Hey, graham, what do you think of the blonde chick?
Mattressable, n'est pas? Riley's not down. Doesn't like her.
Riley: I don't dislike her. She just-- she never feels like she's really there when you talk to her. I like girls I can get a grip on.
Forrest: I bet you do.
Riley: Not that way. Just a little less ready for takeoff all the time. There's definitely something off about her.
Graham: Maybe she's canadian.
Buffy flees the site and we see the yogurt machine overflowing in her wake.
Forrest: Didn't she go out with parker abrams for about 30 seconds?
Riley: Abrams? Yeah, there's a sign of good taste.
Buffy goes to the register and pays for her food.
Forrest: Ok, but you've got to admit she's a major league hottie.
Riley: Well, I'm not denying she's easy on the eyes.
I'm just saying... (Buffy spills both drink and yogurt on the floor.) Would you really want to go out with her?
Forrest: Hell, yes. I bet a lot of guys would like to get their hands on her.
Cut to Spike laying on the floor of a sanitary hospital white chamber. He's mumbling as he drifts towards consciousness.
Spike: Slayer... I'll kill you. Not so tough. I... kill slayers.
He gets up and looks around. He goes to the glass wall that holds him in and puts his hands on it. He receives a severe electric shock and jumps back. The camera pans back and we see dozens of other cages with vampires and other ilk locked up.
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Cut to Giles apartment. He and Xander are sitting in his living room. He's adding finishing touches to a drawing.
Giles: Well, based on buffy's description, I believe the men that we're after
Look something like, um... Like this.
He holds up the drawing.
Xander: The latest in fall fascism. I like it. A bit full in the hips for my taste, but--
Giles: Oh, I think we can safely assume they're human, So, um, no research needed.
Xander: No studying? Damn! Next thing they'll tell me is I'll have to eat jelly doughnuts or sleep with a supermodel to get things done around here. I ask you, how much can one man give?
Giles: Not too much, I'm afraid. Um... Once again I'd say that you and I will not be needed to help buffy.
Xander: Really?
Giles: Really.
Xander: Well, how about this? We whip out the ouija board, light a few candles,
Summon some ancient, unstoppable evil. Mayhem, mayhem, mayhem.
We show up and kick its ass.
Buffy walks in the apartment.
Giles: Wee bit unethical.
Buffy: Hello, people. Hey. Mmm. (Giles hold up the scetch.) It's my late night storm trooper pal.
Giles: It's--it's just for reference, you know, But fairly accurate you'd say?
Buffy: That's your man.
Giles: Your man, actually. Uh...You are patrolling tonight?
Buffy: Nope, I am going to a party tonight. Hopefully, a "no fighting, no biting" kind of deal.
Giles: Look, buffy, somebody's got to find out who these people are.
Buffy: Giles, I live in a dorm now. The girls in my hall want to party,
Willow needs some cheering up. I'm going to take her.
Xander: How's will dealing--
Buffy: (Cutting off Xander.) With the black hole of despair she's been living in since Oz left? She's dealing. I'm helping. It's hard. Ergo, party. You two can take patrol.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go find something slutty to wear tonight.
Cut to the facility that Spike is being held at. He's pacing around when a packet of blood falls from a panel in the ceiling. He grabs it and goes to start in on it.
We see the vampire that was captured in the first episode, a leftover from Sunday's gang.
Vampire: Don't drink it. It's drugged.
Spike: (He throws down the pack, frustrated.) Uh-huh. And who are you, mate?
Vampire: I'm a rat. I'm a lab rat, just like the others. They're gonna kill us, you know.
Spike: And how are they gonna do that?
Vampire: They starve you. When you're ready to bite your own arm, they shoot out one of those packets. You drink, and the next thing, you're gone. And that's when they do the experiments.
Spike: And, uh, they are? The government? Nazis? A major cosmetics company?
Vampire: Who cares? All I know is, one minute I'm running from the slayer, and the next thing, I'm here.
Spike: The slayer! I knew it! I knew it!
Vampire: Yeah, she took apart my crew, and led me straight to these guys.
Spike: She set me up, too. I always worried what would happen when that bitch got some funding. (He slams his hands into the glass wall briefly in frustration.) She's wised up a bit. Fine! I'll take her apart. I don't care how brilliant she is.
Cut to Prof. Walsh's class. Buffy is fighting with her pen and her hands are covered in ink.
Buffy: Stupid pen. (She looks down alarmed.) My notes!
Willow: Ballpoints can be tricky.
Walsh: I'll see you all tomorrow.
Buffy and Willow collect their things to leave. Willow goes up to Riley
Willow: Riley. I notice you left off a name today in roll call. Osbourne, Daniel Osbourne, Oz?
Riley: He's not in this class anymore. I hear he dropped out.
Willow: (Looking distressed.) Oh, well you heard way wrong then. I mean, he's not gone. He--he left temporarily to work out a few things. I know that sounds lame in its vagueness, but I assure you, Oz will be back.
Walsh: (Walks up to where Willow and Riley are.) Not to my class, he won't. An educated guess. You know the rules, you know I hate exceptions, and yet somehow you feel your exception is exceptional. (She crosses her arms in front of her looking intimidating.)
Willow: Oh, but--
Walsh: (Cutting her off.) It is. To you. But since I'm neither a freshman nor a narcissist, I have to consider the whole class. If your friend can't respect my schedule, I think it's best he not come back.
Willow looking hurt and miserable walks off.
Buffy who's been watching from the sidelines walks up to Walsh.
Buffy: You know, for someone who teaches human behavior, you might try showing some.
Walsh: It's not my job to coddle my students.
Buffy: You're right. A human being in pain has nothing to do with your job. (Buffy stalks off.)
Walsh: I like her.
Riley: Really? You don't think she's a little peculiar?
Cut to Xander's apartment / his parents basement. He's got a spread of military weapons in front of him. He's trying to open the chamber of a pistol and having some trouble.
Xander: Here we go. Gear for tonight. If some commando squads are out there, fully loaded, these babies might give us the edge we'll need.
Giles: That's a very impressive array. Where'd it all come from?
Xander: Uh, requisitioned it. Back when I was a military guy.
Giles: That was 2 years ago. You still 100%?
Xander: Are you kidding? I put the semper in semper fi. I might not be able to assemble an m-16 blindfolded like I used to or pass weapon drill from the mobile infantry... (Giles grabs the pistol and immediately accomplishes what Xander has been trying to do for 10 minutes.) Might as well face it. Right now, I don't have the technical skills to join the swiss army. And all those guys ask you to do is uncork a couple of sassy cabernets.
Giles: Well, I'm sure you'll be ready when the time comes.
Xander: Oh, fear not. Hand to hand? I'm still the man. Whoever these guys trained with, I'm sure they're not ready to deal with--
Xander's Mother: (Calling from the main level of the house.) Xander!
Xander:Yes, mom!
Xander's Mother: I made up a nice fruit punch for you and your friend. Would you boys like some?
Giles: (Looks up.) Is it, uh, raspberry fruit punch?
Cut to where Riley is talking to Forrest in thier dorm, and he's throwing a frizbee back and forth between another guy.
Riley: So she says, "you teach human behavior. Maybe you ought to show some."
Forrest: Oh, you're lying. She says that to Walsh?
Riley: Hope to die.
Forrest: Doesn't lack for guts. You've got to give her that.
Riley: Yeah, but she's nuts.
Forrest: Oh, come on. Like you never wanted to tell the professor off? Hey, Parker!
(Parker has entered the dorm. Forrest, Riley and a few others walk over to him.)
Parker: Forrest. What's up, man?
Forrest: What's the scoop on Buffy Summers? Is she cool?
Parker: Buffy? Yeah, she's all right, I guess. I mean, kind of whiney.
Forrest: How's that?
Parker: Well, you know, clingy. I mean, we got a little physical-- Uh, well, fully physical, and then she's all over me, you know, like we're betrothed or something.
Forrest: No, but fun was had, yeah?
Parker: [Laughs] oh, yeah. The word is stamina. I mean, definitely a bunny in the sack, but later on, well. You know the difference between a freshman girl and a toilet seat? A toilet seat doesn't follow you around after you use it.
Riley decks Parker who hits the floor.
Riley: (Walking between Forrest and Graham.) I can't believe that I did that.
Forrest: Welcome to the club. Do you have any idea how much trouble you could have gotten into? If parker reported you--
Graham: He won't, he's too embarrassed.
Riley: I hit him.
Forrest: What the hell for?
Riley: He--he was just being so crude.
Forrest: Please. You've heard me say much grosser things than that.
Riley: And most of those are about your own mother. (Riley laughs and Forrest jokingly smacks him on the back of the head. Riley stops abruptly.)
Forrest: What is it?
Riley: I just didn't like hearing him (he pauses thoughtfully) talk about buffy that way. I think I... Well, I guess I like her.
Forrest: You're kind of like a moron.
Riley: So, you... You knew that I had feelings for her.
Forrest: Everybody knows, man. Oh, she's peculiar? Dead giveaway, buddy.
Riley: I'm always the last to know.
Forrest: So, whatcha gonna do?
Riley: (Walking off.) Well, I guess I'm gonna go see a girl.
Cut to the facility. We see Spike on the floor unconscious. Beside him is an empty sack of blood. Two lab types grab him and are loading him onto a gourney. As they're starting to strap him in his eyes open. He grabs the lab guy by him by the throat.
Spike: Sorry, can't stay. Got to go see a girl.
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Back to the lab. Spike jumps off the gourney. An orderly rushes him, and Spike grabs him by the arm and flips him over the gourney, sending him rolling to the floor. Spike follows him, ready to attack, and the orderly grabs him and slams him into the glass wall of the episode one vampire's cage/room.
Vampire: Let me out!
Spike: Bit busy right now.
Vampire: Look, I know where the exit is. You spring me, you're free. You don't, you're dead.
Spike throws the orderly off of him, into another with a syringe, who accidentally stabs him in the neck with it. He falls onto the gourney. The second orderly looks up alarmed. Spike has vamped out, smiles, grabs the orderly and flips him onto the floor.
Vampire: Hurry! Hurry!
Spike runs over to the orderly sprawled on the gourney. He goes through his pockets and grabs the security card. He uses it to free the vampire.
Vampire: This way!
They run down the hall and quickly run under the closing security door. They run into the next room where ops guys are coming out of an elevator.
Spike: New plan! We split up. You go that way. He shoves the vampire into the ops guys and flees.
Cut to Willow laying on her bed in the dorm room she and Buffy share. She's listening to depressing music looking mopey. There's a knock at the door.
Willow: Come in. (Riley walks in.) Oh, Riley. Hi.
Riley: Hi. Gee, I hope I'm not interrupting anything really depressing.
Willow: What's up?
Riley: (Looking nervous.) Right to the point, ok. I was thinking of asking out Buffy.
Willow: She's not here.
Riley: I know. (Willow spys Buffy's open bag o' weapons on the floor by her bed and looks alarmed.) See, I don't know that much about Buffy. But I'm interested in what she likes, and so far, well, the only thing that I know she likes is you.
Willow: What--what do you want me to do? (She's gotten up and headed towards Buffy's bag.)
Riley: Just tell me something. Anything. Just give me a clue to-- (He notices Willow trying to subtly nudge the bag under the bed with her foot.) Here, let me help you with that. (He scotches the bag under the bed.) Just something that will start us talking, you know? (Willow returns to her bed and Riley sits on Buffy's.) I'm thinking that "how 'bout them broncos" won't really cut it.
Willow: Ok, say that I help, and you start a conversation. It goes great. You like buffy, she likes you. You spend time together, feelings grow deeper, and one day, without even realizing it, you find you're in love. Time stops, And it feels like the whole world's made for you two, and you two alone, until the day one of you leaves and rips the still-beating heart from the other, who's now a broken, hollow, mockery of the human condition.
Riley: (Looking a bit put out, but is glib.) Yep, that's the plan.
Willow: I figured it was.
Riley: Oh. Look, if you want to tell me to go to hell, that's ok. Maybe this is the last thing you want to talk about. I just feel that, well, I've never courted anyone like Buffy before. I don't think I've ever met anyone like Buffy before.
Willow: Why should I trust you?
Riley: Just sort of hoping you'd think I have an honest face.
Willow: I've seen host faces before. They usually come attached to liars.
Riley: All right. I guess I'm not gonna win, here. And I appreciate you wanting to protect your friend. (He gets up to leave.) I guess, uh, she kind of brings that out in people. (Thinks of the damage he did to Parker probably.)
Willow: She likes cheese.
Riley: What? Well, I'm not saying it's the key to her heart, but Buffy... She likes cheese.
Riley: That's a start.
Willow: She has a stuffed piggy named Mr. Gordo, loves ice capades without the irony, and she's dragging me to this party tonight at lowell house.
Riley: Oh, you're going? That's my house. I live there. (He sits on Willow's bed, encouraged.)
Willow: Well, it'll give you a chance to interact, but don't get fresh.
Riley: Fresh? I don't even know if we like each other yet. Hey, does she ever talk about me? Like, has she ever said...
Willow: Sorry.
Riley: That's discouraging. Still, I feel like I have a fighting chance with my new accomplice.
Willow: I'm not your accomplice.
Riley: No, no. Of course not.
Willow: I'm not.
Riley: You're not.
Willow: We're clear.
Riley: We're clear.
Cut to Harmony listening to teeny-bob techno, hanging up a frilly unicorn poster in a crypt.
Spike enters the room.
Harmony: Spike? Spike, is that really you? (He walks up to her.)
Spike: It's me, baby. Your man is-- (Harmony slaps him across the face.) back.
Harmony: Bastard. You dumped me and staked me and hurt me and left me--
Spike: I know, sugar, but you're forgetting one other thing I did. (He gets a touchy feely look.) I missed you.
Harmony: Really? (He holds up his arms, in a "Well here I am," sort of way.) Oh! Just don't ever do that to me again. (She leaps into his arms hugging him.)
Spike: Oh, never, my little foam latte. Your blondie bear is here to stay.
Harmony: Well, where have you been? (Spike strolls over to a wicked looking double bladed weapon ax. He swings it around a bit.) No, wait. Don't tell me. I'm just glad you're back. And this time, it's for good, right? (He tosses aside the ax.)
Spike: Oh, forever and ever, mon petite creme brulee. (He picks up another vicious looking weapon, this time an exceptionally long dagger. He tosses this aside too.)
Harmony: Ooh. Italian.
Spike: Uh, yeah, and get used to it. Big daddy's home. We're gonna go wherever you want, do whatever you want, (He picks up yet another weapon, this one a long sword like thing with a hook on the end.) kill whoever you want. Starting with the slayer. (Harmony looks irritated as Spike tosses aside his current weapon.) And after that, it's all you and me, my little mentholated pack of smokes.
Harmony walks over to him and puts her hand on his shoulder.
Harmony: Spikey. Let's leave the slayer alone. (She grabs his lapels.) You know she'll only slap you around, and I can do that.
Spike: Ow! Uh, no, see, ow. (Harmony is grabbings his hair, getting cute.)
The head, love. Watch the head. Whoa, watch it! (Harmony has jumped Spike.)
Cut to Giles and Xander hiding in the woods.
Xander: Every man faces this moment. Here. Now. Watching. Waiting
For an unseen enemy that has no face. Nerve endings screaming in silence.
Never knowing which thought might be your last.
Giles: Oh, shut up.
Cut to Willow and Buffy walking into the party.
Buffy: Looks cool.
Willow: Uh-huh.
Buffy: Look, we could go.
Willow: No-no, we're here for fun.
Buffy: Oh, look. Some of the guys are here already.
Willow: I'm gonna grab a soda. I'll--I'll find you guys.
Buffy: Ok.
Willow playing secret agent gal walks over to wear Riley is standing. She leans against a pillar facing the opposite direction of Riley.
Willow: Ok, she's wearing the halter top with sensible shoes. That means mostly dancing, light contact, But don't push your luck. Heavy conversation's out of the question.
Riley: So what do I do?
Willow: Ask her to dance.
Riley: Right. Dance. Wait. No.
Willow: What's the matter? (She turns to face him.)
Riley: I can't dance.
Williow: Then talk. Keep eye contact. Funny is good, but don't be glib. And remember, if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun. (She pats him on the shoulder.)
Riley walks off. We see Buffy standing in a circle of people. Riley makes his way through towards her.
Riley: Excuse me. Hi.
Buffy: Hi.
Riley: Um...Buffy... (He pauses looking at a loss.) You do the reading on chapter 9?
Buffy: Uh-huh. (She gives him a look.)
Riley: Wow. Some theories, huh? Cheese? (He holds up a cube of cheese on a stick.)
Cut to the woods. Xander sees things being thrown into a pile. Harmony walks out and begins to pour gas on the pile.
Xander: Harmony.
Harmony: Xander? (She walks towards him.)
Xander: That's close enough. (She stops.) I'm warning you: I've been highly trained to put this through your heart. (He waves a stake around.) No mercy, no warning.
Harmony: I can kill you where you stand.
Xander: Bring it on, then.
Harmony bitch slaps him.
Xander: Ow!
He kicks her in the shin.
Harmony: Ow! You sissy kicker!
She slaps him in the arm. The most girly fight ever on BTVS ensues. They slap at each other and circle each other in a menacing manner. More slapping without contact. They end up tangled up pulling each others hair.
Xander: Get away! Aah! Cut it out!
Harmony: Ow, I'm so gonna bite you!
Xander: Ow... Ok, stop, stop! We should stop, ok?
Harmony: Ok, I will if you will.
Xander ; On the count of 3...
Xander: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 1...2...3!
Harmony: Right, ok.
Xander: Harmony, it's been great catching up. Really, I'm just gonna pick up the tattered shreds of my dignity and go home... Leaving you with your fire.
Harmony: My fire? Yeah, right. Like I listen to the sex pistols. Eww. This crap belongs to Spike.
Xander: Spike?
Harmony: Can you believe him? He comes back with all these big promises, not that I believed him, you know. But he could have spent one night, but, no. Everything was "slayer this" and "slayer that." I mean, he probably already killed her. I'm not taking him back, I just...I just want to know why it is that men always... (She looks up and Xander has left to go warn Buffy.) Leave.
Harmony pitches a lit match behind her. The pile of Spikes things go up in flames.
Cut to Riley and Willow sitting on a couch at the party. Neither look very much in a party mood.
Riley: I can't believe it. I choked.
Willow: You really, really did.
Riley: You don't understand. I'm good at things. That's what I do. Work hard, apply myself, get it done.
Willow: Well, you failed extremely well.
Riley: That's a great comfort to me.
We see Buffy doing a "sexy dance" with another guy.
Willow: You need to relax. I mean, you're not proposing. You're just making contact, getting a reaction. Any reaction is ok, except projectile vomiting.
But, what are the chances of that--
A Dingoes Ate My Babies song comes on. Willow gets a horrifically depressed look.
Riley: Are you ok?
Willow: This song...
Riley: Oh, yeah, it's a tape of some bands from last year's party. Associations?
Willow: Big.
Riley: Bad? A.J.! (He makes a cutting motion. A.J. changes the music ignoring the murmur of protest from the crowd.)
Willow: Thank you. Now go find Buffy.
Riley: There's no hurry. I mean, if you want to talk.
Willow: No, I... I want you to find Buffy and tell her that I went home and not to worry about me. Which at least will give you something to say.
Riley: Thanks.
Willow: You'll do fine. (She leaves and Riley journeys to find Buffy. He walks over to Buffy and puts his hand on her shoulder.)
Buffy: Hey.
Riley: Um, Willow said to say that she took off. (Buffy looks upset.) Oh, no, she's ok. Kind of blue, but she said not to worry.
Buffy: Thank you.
Riley: You know... I wanted to ask you something.
Buffy: Ask away.
Xander runs in interupting them.
Xander: Buffy! I've been looking all over for you. We need... Need to talk, uh, not here. It's sort of... Unfinished business.
Buffy: Business? Right. Uh, excuse us?
Riley: No problem.
Forrest walks up.
Forrest: Denied.
Riley: It's not like she blew me off. She just left with another guy, that's all.
Forrest: We need you downstairs, anyway. (They head downstairs.) You know, I hate to say it, but they're probably on their way to make crazy naked sex.
Riley: Is that necessary?
They stand in front of a mirror and a glowing green light scans them.
Forrest: I'm protecting you, buddy. I don't want to see you mooning over some freshman for the next 3 months.
Computer: Retinal scan accepted.
They enter the elevator that opens up in the wall.
Riley: I like her.
Graham: I'm on your side, here.
Riley: I know you are, Graham. That's what gives me the strength to put up with this comedian.
Forrest: Dude, straight tip: I know girls.
Riley: Exactly! Girls, plural. I'm talkin' about one girl. (He leans into a microphone.) One girl.
Computer: Initiative vocal code match complete. Special agent Finn, Riley. Identity number 75329.
They enter the massive under ground bat cave like facility that is the headquarters of the Initiative.
Riley: The problem is, what kind of girl is gonna go out with a guy who's acting all joe regular by day and then turns all demon-hunter by night?
Graham: Maybe a peculiar one.
Riley: Thank you, Graham. You see, forrest? You don't have to be so negative all the time. Hold up. Situation?
They walk over to where Prof. Walsh is standing in a white lab coat.
Walsh: Gentlemen, suit up. We have a code red. Hostile 17 has escaped.
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Walsh: Here's what we know, and it isn't much: Hostile 17 broke restraints at exactly 2:47 P.M.
Graham, Forrest and Riley are almost done putting on their gear.
Forrest: That's a big head start.
Walsh: Gets bigger every time you interrupt me. It was bagged and tagged locally, so assume it knows the area. The creature has every advantage right now. Fail to recapture it, and everything we've worked for-- The initiative itself-- could end tonight.
Riley: Nobody's failin' on my watch.
Walsh: Glad to hear it. Gentlemen, agent Finn is now in charge of this operation. I'm counting on you, Riley.
Riley: We start with the basic mobilization pattern. 3 Teams. Sweep and search, just like practice. Thorough but fast. C-team: Take the campus perimeter. Make sure it can't leave. Stake it if you gotta, but only as a last resort. B-team: You're going down. Tunnels, sewers, cemeteries. Gates and miller are with me. We take the heart of campus and work our way out. All units, maintain radio contact early and often. Who's got questions? Move!
Cut to Giles apartment where Buffy, Xander and Giles are gathered.
Buffy: What is wrong with him? Doesn't spike get that this is my town?
Giles: He's resilient.
Buffy: And it's my night off.
Xander: I'm sure he'd pick another night if he knew you were busy with teutonic boy toy.
Buffy: What is that supposed to mean?
Xander: Nothing.
Buffy: Riley's a doof. He's not teutonic.
Giles: We have to assume that Spike's main target is you, Buffy.
Buffy: Fine. You know what? He's worn out his welcome. Tonight, I kill him.
Giles: You have a plan?
Buffy: I am the plan. If spike wants me, I go alone... No arguments.
Lead him away from the popular places and give him what he wants.
Buffy gets up to leave and Xander goes after her.
Xander: Oh, wait, wait! Take this.
He gives her a flare gun.
Buffy: A flare gun? Xander, if I find spike, I'm staking him, not signalling ships at sea.
Xander: You get into trouble...
Buffy: Ok. I'll flare.
Xander: And we'll come a-runnin'. (Buffy leaves.) Do you think Spike'll find her?
Giles: I'm sure of it.
Cut to Spike sitting at a computer. He's scrolling down a list of student dorm names and their housing. He reaches Buffy's name.
Spike: Hello, gorgeous.
Cut to the woods where Graham, Forrest and Riley are leaving a wooden shed type thing. They walk to a clearing where they see Buffy sitting on a park bench alone through binoculars.
Riley: What've we got?
Graham: Civilian, sir.
Graham gives him his binoculars and Riley looks through them recognising Buffy.
Riley: Ah, damn.
Forrest: She's compromising the area. At least she's not making crazy, naked sex.
Riley: Told you. We gotta clear her outta there... Fast.
Forrest: Maybe not. Just thinking. If you were hostile 17, living off the crap we feed 'em, what would you rather eat than that?
Riley: You wanna use the girl I got a crush on as bait?
Forrest: I can tag a hostile at 50 yards.
Riley: Denied.
Forrest: She'd be safe the entire--
Riley: I said denied, agent.
Forrest: Did you just pull rank on me?
Riley: Do you have a problem with that?
Forrest: No, sir. So, how're we gonna get her out of there?
Riley, no longer wearing kevlar walks up to where Buffy is sitting on the bench.
Buffy: Riley! What are you doing here?
Riley: Well, I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to you after the party. You left so fast. You know, with your friend... Who's a boy.
Buffy: Uh, xander? He's not anyone that I... Want to talk about, right now. Um... You know, I don't want you taking this the wrong way... It's just, um... I need a little alone time now... Alone.
Riley: Why?
Buffy: I need space.
Riley: We're outdoors.
Buffy: Emotionally. (She pauses looking for something better to say and gives up.)I mean, emotionally...
Riley: You know, there's plenty of space back in your room why don't I take you? You wouldn't believe the weirdos out at this hour.
He starts to lead her off.
Buffy: Whoa! Ok... It's a free campus. Who died and made you John Wayne?
Riley: I'm just trying to help.
Buffy: You think I need help? Believe me, I don't. You know, if you were a real gentleman, then you would just leave. You would go far, far away, now! Shoo!
Riley: Are you drunk?
Buffy: Yes! Go and report me.
Riley: I'm taking you home. Come on.
He goes to grab her and lead her off.
Buffy: Oh, did you ever think maybe I'm gonna take you home, huh? What? You think that boys can take care of themselves and girls need help?
Riley: Yeah.
Buffy: That is so teutonic.
Riley: Look, Buffy, as long as you're out here, I'm staying.
Buffy: Well, as long as you're out here, I'm staying.
They hear a scream.
Riley: Gotta go.
Buffy: See ya!
They both run off in opposite directions.
Riley: Tell me we're tracking.
They're looking a some sort of tracking device.
Graham: Honing a signal. Got it... Heading west. Better be the hostile.
Forrest: All units converge, all units converge. Hard target sighted. Heading 1-2 alpha niner. Let's bag it before this gets ugly.
Cut to Willow and Buffy's dorm room. Willow's moping again on her bed listening to sad music. There's a knock at the door.
Willow: Come in. (Spike walks in. Willow is immediately alarmed and gets up.) Spike! Wh-what do you want? Uh, a spell? I can do that.
She goes to run past him, but he grabs her and and throws her against her dresser.
Spike: I'll give you a choice. (He walks over to her.) Now I'm gonna kill you. No choice in that. But... I can let you stay dead... Or... Bring you back, to be like me.
Willow: I--I'll scream.
Spike: Bonus.
Willow screams.
Spike throws her on the bed and then turns the radio up to a blaring level.
Willow: No!
Spike jumps on her and they battle but he goes to bite her.
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Spike: I don't understand. This sort of thing's never happened to me before. (He's sitting on Willow's bed.)
Willow: Maybe you were nervous.
Spike: I felt all right when I started. Let's try again. (He leaps on her and draws back immediately. He tries again and the same thing happens.) Ow! Oh! Ow! Damn it! (He gets up and kicks the dresser. He starts to pace around the room.)
Willow: Maybe you're trying too hard. Doesn't this happen to every vampire?
Spike: Not to me, it doesn't!
Willow: It's me, isn't it?
Spike: What are you talking about?
Willow: Well, you came looking for Buffy, then settled. I--I... You didn't want to bite me. I just happened to be around.
Spike: Piffle!
Willow: I know I'm not the kind of girl vamps like to sink their teeth into. It's always like, "ooh, you're like a sister to me," or, "oh, you're such a good friend."
Spike: Don't be ridiculous. I'd bite you in a heartbeat.
Willow: Really?
Spike sits on her bed again.
Spike: Thought about it.
Willow: When?
Spike: Remember last year, you had on that... Fuzzy pink number with the lilac underneath?
Willow: I never would have guessed. You played the blood-lust kinda cool.
Spike: Mmm. I hate being obvious. All fang-y and "rrrr!" Takes the mystery out.
Willow: But if you could...
Spike: If I could, yeah.
Willow: You know, this doesn't make you any less terrifying.
Spike: Don't patronize me.
Cut to the outside of Willow's dorm. Graham, Forrest and Riley are hiding in the bushes, peering at a tempeture senor.
Graham: I'm getting a picture... Signature's locked.
Riley: What've we got?
Graham: Humans of the freshman variety. 98.6, 98.6... Bingo! Got a cold one.
Thermal output clockin' in at exactly... Room temperature. Vampire. Call in a standard triangle flanking maneuver.
Riley: We're going in. I need a lockdown on grid 6.
Spike: I'm only 126.
Willow: You're being too hard on yourself. Why don't we wait a half an hour and try again? Or... (She picks up a lamp and smashes it over his head. She runs over to her door and tries to leave, but it's locked.)
The lights go out outside in the hall. Riley, Graham and Forrest run in the dorm wearing night vision goggles. They race up the stairs and when they reach the top students scramble out of their way. They head down the hall and reach Willow's room. They bust the door down and Willow races out knocking them out of the way. One of them points the tranquilizer gun at Willow.
Riley: No, hold your fire!
Spike rushes out and slams Graham into a wall. Willow cowers in a corner. Spike rushes over to bite Graham but can't due to a severe burst of pain.
Graham: It's on me! (Spike rushes over to bite Graham but can't due to a severe burst of pain.)
Spike: Aah!
Commando: Move!
Spike struggles but is eventually contained.
Commando: Bag it, tag it. We're gone. Sir... Civilian. Could have turned. (Referring to Willow cowering in a corner.)
Riley: Leave her.
Commando: We can't neglect quarantine, sir!
Spike breaks free. He grabs a fire extinguisher and smashes a commando with it. Another goes to shoot him, but he holds up the extinguisher and it's shot, which makes the hall fill with CO2 gas. Willow crawls towards her room.
Commando: Stop her!
A commando grabs her.
Commando: She's contained.
Buffy: Contain this! (The commando who has Willow turns around and is blinded as his night vision goggles are overloaded when Buffy shoots off the flare gun. The flare bounces around the room.)
All: Aah! Ow! I'm blind! What the hell was that?
The commandos tear off their goggles. Buffy shoos Willow into their room. Buffy begins to fight the commandos. (Neither she nor Riley recognize each other. Riley is blinded and Buffy doesn't recognize him because of the disguise of his gear and face mask.) Buffy is redirected into a wall by Riley. Spike sees a way to escape and does. Buffy gets up and dodges a kick, then a punch and then reciprocated and lands a punch. She gets him in a corner and lands about a dozen quickly repeated punches on his stomach. He get a hold of himself, then punches Buffy in the face. She flies back. Cut to Spike who runs down the hall and jumps out a window. Graham and Forrest follow him, but stop at the window. Cut back to Buffy and Riley fighting. Buffy is redirected into a wall. She gets up and slams him in the face with a folding chair. She delivers a roundhouse kick and flips him over onto the floor. He gets up and through his hazy vision realizes there's something amiss.
Riley: Abort!
Cut to the Initiative facility.
Walsh: I'm sure you'll understand if I seem far from happy.
Riley: Yes, ma'am. If you read my report you'll see--
Walsh: Hostile 17's found an accomplice who's smart, aggressive, and somehow escapes description.
Forrest: Whoever he was, the guy was big.
Graham: Strong, too.
Riley: Whoever... Or whatever.
Walsh: I'm not interested in guess work, gentlemen. Call me old-fashioned. I like results. This report reads like a child's riddle book. Agent Finn, tell me something good. My implant?
Riley: The implant works. Hostile 17 can't harm any living creature, In any way, without intense neurological pain. We'll bag it.
Walsh: Yes, you will. Dismissed.
Cut to the next day. Riley sees Buffy walking across the campus. He heads towards her.
Riley: Hey.
Buffy: Hi.
Riley: Listen, sorry about last night.
Buffy: No, no... I was rude. I just felt like being alone. Sometimes it's nice to be out by yourself at night.
Riley: I hear that. Gotta be careful, though. Lotta strange... People out there.
Buffy: Oh, yeah.
Riley: How's willow doing?
Buffy: Ok. 'Course, that stupid fraternity prank on our dorm didn't help any.
Riley: That's right. I forgot you guys live in stevenson.
Buffy: You knew that?
Riley: Well, Willow and I were... I thought she might be able to help me on a project.
Buffy: Really? That work out for you?
Riley: Don't know yet.
Buffy: Uh, last night... At the party, You wanted to tell me something?
Riley: Oh, yeah. Very important stuff. I don't remember any of it now. But you would have been fascinated, possibly even moved. Did Willow tell you I like cheese?
Buffy: You're a little peculiar.
Riley: I can live with that.
Directed by: James A. Contner
This episode was originally broadcast on October 19, 1999
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cut the the UC Sunnydale cafeteria. Riley is sitting at a table laboring over papers. A friend Forrest is checking out his coeds.
Forrest: Women. Young, nubile, exciting. Each one a mystery, waiting to be unlocked. Think any of them are gonna show? 'Cause the party will be lame if we lack for hotties. Professor? You with me?
Riley: No. I'm with this large pile of ungraded papers, due at 3:00.
Forrest: How are you gonna learn anything if you keep doing schoolwork? Oh...Check her out. Is she hot, or is she hot?
We see Buffy at the soda fountain. She's distracted and her cup starts to over flow.
Riley: (Looks up.) She's buffy.
Forrest: Buffy? I like that. That girl's so hot, she's buffy.
Riley: It's her name, Forrest.
Forrest: You've established first contact? Excellent. What do you think of her?
Riley: I haven't really thought about what I think of her.
Forrest: A girl that cute in the face, and you form no opinion?
Riley: No, I mean, She's all right, I guess. She's just kind of... I don't know.
Peculiar.
We see Buffy break the handle off of the the frozen yogurt machine. She battles with it for a bit.
Forrest: Peculiar? Hi. Hey, graham, what do you think of the blonde chick?
Mattressable, n'est pas? Riley's not down. Doesn't like her.
Riley: I don't dislike her. She just-- she never feels like she's really there when you talk to her. I like girls I can get a grip on.
Forrest: I bet you do.
Riley: Not that way. Just a little less ready for takeoff all the time. There's definitely something off about her.
Graham: Maybe she's canadian.
Buffy flees the site and we see the yogurt machine overflowing in her wake.
Forrest: Didn't she go out with parker abrams for about 30 seconds?
Riley: Abrams? Yeah, there's a sign of good taste.
Buffy goes to the register and pays for her food.
Forrest: Ok, but you've got to admit she's a major league hottie.
Riley: Well, I'm not denying she's easy on the eyes.
I'm just saying... (Buffy spills both drink and yogurt on the floor.) Would you really want to go out with her?
Forrest: Hell, yes. I bet a lot of guys would like to get their hands on her.
Cut to Spike laying on the floor of a sanitary hospital white chamber. He's mumbling as he drifts towards consciousness.
Spike: Slayer... I'll kill you. Not so tough. I... kill slayers.
He gets up and looks around. He goes to the glass wall that holds him in and puts his hands on it. He receives a severe electric shock and jumps back. The camera pans back and we see dozens of other cages with vampires and other ilk locked up.
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Cut to Giles apartment. He and Xander are sitting in his living room. He's adding finishing touches to a drawing.
Giles: Well, based on buffy's description, I believe the men that we're after
Look something like, um... Like this.
He holds up the drawing.
Xander: The latest in fall fascism. I like it. A bit full in the hips for my taste, but--
Giles: Oh, I think we can safely assume they're human, So, um, no research needed.
Xander: No studying? Damn! Next thing they'll tell me is I'll have to eat jelly doughnuts or sleep with a supermodel to get things done around here. I ask you, how much can one man give?
Giles: Not too much, I'm afraid. Um... Once again I'd say that you and I will not be needed to help buffy.
Xander: Really?
Giles: Really.
Xander: Well, how about this? We whip out the ouija board, light a few candles,
Summon some ancient, unstoppable evil. Mayhem, mayhem, mayhem.
We show up and kick its ass.
Buffy walks in the apartment.
Giles: Wee bit unethical.
Buffy: Hello, people. Hey. Mmm. (Giles hold up the scetch.) It's my late night storm trooper pal.
Giles: It's--it's just for reference, you know, But fairly accurate you'd say?
Buffy: That's your man.
Giles: Your man, actually. Uh...You are patrolling tonight?
Buffy: Nope, I am going to a party tonight. Hopefully, a "no fighting, no biting" kind of deal.
Giles: Look, buffy, somebody's got to find out who these people are.
Buffy: Giles, I live in a dorm now. The girls in my hall want to party,
Willow needs some cheering up. I'm going to take her.
Xander: How's will dealing--
Buffy: (Cutting off Xander.) With the black hole of despair she's been living in since Oz left? She's dealing. I'm helping. It's hard. Ergo, party. You two can take patrol.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go find something slutty to wear tonight.
Cut to the facility that Spike is being held at. He's pacing around when a packet of blood falls from a panel in the ceiling. He grabs it and goes to start in on it.
We see the vampire that was captured in the first episode, a leftover from Sunday's gang.
Vampire: Don't drink it. It's drugged.
Spike: (He throws down the pack, frustrated.) Uh-huh. And who are you, mate?
Vampire: I'm a rat. I'm a lab rat, just like the others. They're gonna kill us, you know.
Spike: And how are they gonna do that?
Vampire: They starve you. When you're ready to bite your own arm, they shoot out one of those packets. You drink, and the next thing, you're gone. And that's when they do the experiments.
Spike: And, uh, they are? The government? Nazis? A major cosmetics company?
Vampire: Who cares? All I know is, one minute I'm running from the slayer, and the next thing, I'm here.
Spike: The slayer! I knew it! I knew it!
Vampire: Yeah, she took apart my crew, and led me straight to these guys.
Spike: She set me up, too. I always worried what would happen when that bitch got some funding. (He slams his hands into the glass wall briefly in frustration.) She's wised up a bit. Fine! I'll take her apart. I don't care how brilliant she is.
Cut to Prof. Walsh's class. Buffy is fighting with her pen and her hands are covered in ink.
Buffy: Stupid pen. (She looks down alarmed.) My notes!
Willow: Ballpoints can be tricky.
Walsh: I'll see you all tomorrow.
Buffy and Willow collect their things to leave. Willow goes up to Riley
Willow: Riley. I notice you left off a name today in roll call. Osbourne, Daniel Osbourne, Oz?
Riley: He's not in this class anymore. I hear he dropped out.
Willow: (Looking distressed.) Oh, well you heard way wrong then. I mean, he's not gone. He--he left temporarily to work out a few things. I know that sounds lame in its vagueness, but I assure you, Oz will be back.
Walsh: (Walks up to where Willow and Riley are.) Not to my class, he won't. An educated guess. You know the rules, you know I hate exceptions, and yet somehow you feel your exception is exceptional. (She crosses her arms in front of her looking intimidating.)
Willow: Oh, but--
Walsh: (Cutting her off.) It is. To you. But since I'm neither a freshman nor a narcissist, I have to consider the whole class. If your friend can't respect my schedule, I think it's best he not come back.
Willow looking hurt and miserable walks off.
Buffy who's been watching from the sidelines walks up to Walsh.
Buffy: You know, for someone who teaches human behavior, you might try showing some.
Walsh: It's not my job to coddle my students.
Buffy: You're right. A human being in pain has nothing to do with your job. (Buffy stalks off.)
Walsh: I like her.
Riley: Really? You don't think she's a little peculiar?
Cut to Xander's apartment / his parents basement. He's got a spread of military weapons in front of him. He's trying to open the chamber of a pistol and having some trouble.
Xander: Here we go. Gear for tonight. If some commando squads are out there, fully loaded, these babies might give us the edge we'll need.
Giles: That's a very impressive array. Where'd it all come from?
Xander: Uh, requisitioned it. Back when I was a military guy.
Giles: That was 2 years ago. You still 100%?
Xander: Are you kidding? I put the semper in semper fi. I might not be able to assemble an m-16 blindfolded like I used to or pass weapon drill from the mobile infantry... (Giles grabs the pistol and immediately accomplishes what Xander has been trying to do for 10 minutes.) Might as well face it. Right now, I don't have the technical skills to join the swiss army. And all those guys ask you to do is uncork a couple of sassy cabernets.
Giles: Well, I'm sure you'll be ready when the time comes.
Xander: Oh, fear not. Hand to hand? I'm still the man. Whoever these guys trained with, I'm sure they're not ready to deal with--
Xander's Mother: (Calling from the main level of the house.) Xander!
Xander:Yes, mom!
Xander's Mother: I made up a nice fruit punch for you and your friend. Would you boys like some?
Giles: (Looks up.) Is it, uh, raspberry fruit punch?
Cut to where Riley is talking to Forrest in thier dorm, and he's throwing a frizbee back and forth between another guy.
Riley: So she says, "you teach human behavior. Maybe you ought to show some."
Forrest: Oh, you're lying. She says that to Walsh?
Riley: Hope to die.
Forrest: Doesn't lack for guts. You've got to give her that.
Riley: Yeah, but she's nuts.
Forrest: Oh, come on. Like you never wanted to tell the professor off? Hey, Parker!
(Parker has entered the dorm. Forrest, Riley and a few others walk over to him.)
Parker: Forrest. What's up, man?
Forrest: What's the scoop on Buffy Summers? Is she cool?
Parker: Buffy? Yeah, she's all right, I guess. I mean, kind of whiney.
Forrest: How's that?
Parker: Well, you know, clingy. I mean, we got a little physical-- Uh, well, fully physical, and then she's all over me, you know, like we're betrothed or something.
Forrest: No, but fun was had, yeah?
Parker: [Laughs] oh, yeah. The word is stamina. I mean, definitely a bunny in the sack, but later on, well. You know the difference between a freshman girl and a toilet seat? A toilet seat doesn't follow you around after you use it.
Riley decks Parker who hits the floor.
Riley: (Walking between Forrest and Graham.) I can't believe that I did that.
Forrest: Welcome to the club. Do you have any idea how much trouble you could have gotten into? If parker reported you--
Graham: He won't, he's too embarrassed.
Riley: I hit him.
Forrest: What the hell for?
Riley: He--he was just being so crude.
Forrest: Please. You've heard me say much grosser things than that.
Riley: And most of those are about your own mother. (Riley laughs and Forrest jokingly smacks him on the back of the head. Riley stops abruptly.)
Forrest: What is it?
Riley: I just didn't like hearing him (he pauses thoughtfully) talk about buffy that way. I think I... Well, I guess I like her.
Forrest: You're kind of like a moron.
Riley: So, you... You knew that I had feelings for her.
Forrest: Everybody knows, man. Oh, she's peculiar? Dead giveaway, buddy.
Riley: I'm always the last to know.
Forrest: So, whatcha gonna do?
Riley: (Walking off.) Well, I guess I'm gonna go see a girl.
Cut to the facility. We see Spike on the floor unconscious. Beside him is an empty sack of blood. Two lab types grab him and are loading him onto a gourney. As they're starting to strap him in his eyes open. He grabs the lab guy by him by the throat.
Spike: Sorry, can't stay. Got to go see a girl.
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Back to the lab. Spike jumps off the gourney. An orderly rushes him, and Spike grabs him by the arm and flips him over the gourney, sending him rolling to the floor. Spike follows him, ready to attack, and the orderly grabs him and slams him into the glass wall of the episode one vampire's cage/room.
Vampire: Let me out!
Spike: Bit busy right now.
Vampire: Look, I know where the exit is. You spring me, you're free. You don't, you're dead.
Spike throws the orderly off of him, into another with a syringe, who accidentally stabs him in the neck with it. He falls onto the gourney. The second orderly looks up alarmed. Spike has vamped out, smiles, grabs the orderly and flips him onto the floor.
Vampire: Hurry! Hurry!
Spike runs over to the orderly sprawled on the gourney. He goes through his pockets and grabs the security card. He uses it to free the vampire.
Vampire: This way!
They run down the hall and quickly run under the closing security door. They run into the next room where ops guys are coming out of an elevator.
Spike: New plan! We split up. You go that way. He shoves the vampire into the ops guys and flees.
Cut to Willow laying on her bed in the dorm room she and Buffy share. She's listening to depressing music looking mopey. There's a knock at the door.
Willow: Come in. (Riley walks in.) Oh, Riley. Hi.
Riley: Hi. Gee, I hope I'm not interrupting anything really depressing.
Willow: What's up?
Riley: (Looking nervous.) Right to the point, ok. I was thinking of asking out Buffy.
Willow: She's not here.
Riley: I know. (Willow spys Buffy's open bag o' weapons on the floor by her bed and looks alarmed.) See, I don't know that much about Buffy. But I'm interested in what she likes, and so far, well, the only thing that I know she likes is you.
Willow: What--what do you want me to do? (She's gotten up and headed towards Buffy's bag.)
Riley: Just tell me something. Anything. Just give me a clue to-- (He notices Willow trying to subtly nudge the bag under the bed with her foot.) Here, let me help you with that. (He scotches the bag under the bed.) Just something that will start us talking, you know? (Willow returns to her bed and Riley sits on Buffy's.) I'm thinking that "how 'bout them broncos" won't really cut it.
Willow: Ok, say that I help, and you start a conversation. It goes great. You like buffy, she likes you. You spend time together, feelings grow deeper, and one day, without even realizing it, you find you're in love. Time stops, And it feels like the whole world's made for you two, and you two alone, until the day one of you leaves and rips the still-beating heart from the other, who's now a broken, hollow, mockery of the human condition.
Riley: (Looking a bit put out, but is glib.) Yep, that's the plan.
Willow: I figured it was.
Riley: Oh. Look, if you want to tell me to go to hell, that's ok. Maybe this is the last thing you want to talk about. I just feel that, well, I've never courted anyone like Buffy before. I don't think I've ever met anyone like Buffy before.
Willow: Why should I trust you?
Riley: Just sort of hoping you'd think I have an honest face.
Willow: I've seen host faces before. They usually come attached to liars.
Riley: All right. I guess I'm not gonna win, here. And I appreciate you wanting to protect your friend. (He gets up to leave.) I guess, uh, she kind of brings that out in people. (Thinks of the damage he did to Parker probably.)
Willow: She likes cheese.
Riley: What? Well, I'm not saying it's the key to her heart, but Buffy... She likes cheese.
Riley: That's a start.
Willow: She has a stuffed piggy named Mr. Gordo, loves ice capades without the irony, and she's dragging me to this party tonight at lowell house.
Riley: Oh, you're going? That's my house. I live there. (He sits on Willow's bed, encouraged.)
Willow: Well, it'll give you a chance to interact, but don't get fresh.
Riley: Fresh? I don't even know if we like each other yet. Hey, does she ever talk about me? Like, has she ever said...
Willow: Sorry.
Riley: That's discouraging. Still, I feel like I have a fighting chance with my new accomplice.
Willow: I'm not your accomplice.
Riley: No, no. Of course not.
Willow: I'm not.
Riley: You're not.
Willow: We're clear.
Riley: We're clear.
Cut to Harmony listening to teeny-bob techno, hanging up a frilly unicorn poster in a crypt.
Spike enters the room.
Harmony: Spike? Spike, is that really you? (He walks up to her.)
Spike: It's me, baby. Your man is-- (Harmony slaps him across the face.) back.
Harmony: Bastard. You dumped me and staked me and hurt me and left me--
Spike: I know, sugar, but you're forgetting one other thing I did. (He gets a touchy feely look.) I missed you.
Harmony: Really? (He holds up his arms, in a "Well here I am," sort of way.) Oh! Just don't ever do that to me again. (She leaps into his arms hugging him.)
Spike: Oh, never, my little foam latte. Your blondie bear is here to stay.
Harmony: Well, where have you been? (Spike strolls over to a wicked looking double bladed weapon ax. He swings it around a bit.) No, wait. Don't tell me. I'm just glad you're back. And this time, it's for good, right? (He tosses aside the ax.)
Spike: Oh, forever and ever, mon petite creme brulee. (He picks up another vicious looking weapon, this time an exceptionally long dagger. He tosses this aside too.)
Harmony: Ooh. Italian.
Spike: Uh, yeah, and get used to it. Big daddy's home. We're gonna go wherever you want, do whatever you want, (He picks up yet another weapon, this one a long sword like thing with a hook on the end.) kill whoever you want. Starting with the slayer. (Harmony looks irritated as Spike tosses aside his current weapon.) And after that, it's all you and me, my little mentholated pack of smokes.
Harmony walks over to him and puts her hand on his shoulder.
Harmony: Spikey. Let's leave the slayer alone. (She grabs his lapels.) You know she'll only slap you around, and I can do that.
Spike: Ow! Uh, no, see, ow. (Harmony is grabbings his hair, getting cute.)
The head, love. Watch the head. Whoa, watch it! (Harmony has jumped Spike.)
Cut to Giles and Xander hiding in the woods.
Xander: Every man faces this moment. Here. Now. Watching. Waiting
For an unseen enemy that has no face. Nerve endings screaming in silence.
Never knowing which thought might be your last.
Giles: Oh, shut up.
Cut to Willow and Buffy walking into the party.
Buffy: Looks cool.
Willow: Uh-huh.
Buffy: Look, we could go.
Willow: No-no, we're here for fun.
Buffy: Oh, look. Some of the guys are here already.
Willow: I'm gonna grab a soda. I'll--I'll find you guys.
Buffy: Ok.
Willow playing secret agent gal walks over to wear Riley is standing. She leans against a pillar facing the opposite direction of Riley.
Willow: Ok, she's wearing the halter top with sensible shoes. That means mostly dancing, light contact, But don't push your luck. Heavy conversation's out of the question.
Riley: So what do I do?
Willow: Ask her to dance.
Riley: Right. Dance. Wait. No.
Willow: What's the matter? (She turns to face him.)
Riley: I can't dance.
Williow: Then talk. Keep eye contact. Funny is good, but don't be glib. And remember, if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun. (She pats him on the shoulder.)
Riley walks off. We see Buffy standing in a circle of people. Riley makes his way through towards her.
Riley: Excuse me. Hi.
Buffy: Hi.
Riley: Um...Buffy... (He pauses looking at a loss.) You do the reading on chapter 9?
Buffy: Uh-huh. (She gives him a look.)
Riley: Wow. Some theories, huh? Cheese? (He holds up a cube of cheese on a stick.)
Cut to the woods. Xander sees things being thrown into a pile. Harmony walks out and begins to pour gas on the pile.
Xander: Harmony.
Harmony: Xander? (She walks towards him.)
Xander: That's close enough. (She stops.) I'm warning you: I've been highly trained to put this through your heart. (He waves a stake around.) No mercy, no warning.
Harmony: I can kill you where you stand.
Xander: Bring it on, then.
Harmony bitch slaps him.
Xander: Ow!
He kicks her in the shin.
Harmony: Ow! You sissy kicker!
She slaps him in the arm. The most girly fight ever on BTVS ensues. They slap at each other and circle each other in a menacing manner. More slapping without contact. They end up tangled up pulling each others hair.
Xander: Get away! Aah! Cut it out!
Harmony: Ow, I'm so gonna bite you!
Xander: Ow... Ok, stop, stop! We should stop, ok?
Harmony: Ok, I will if you will.
Xander ; On the count of 3...
Xander: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 1...2...3!
Harmony: Right, ok.
Xander: Harmony, it's been great catching up. Really, I'm just gonna pick up the tattered shreds of my dignity and go home... Leaving you with your fire.
Harmony: My fire? Yeah, right. Like I listen to the sex pistols. Eww. This crap belongs to Spike.
Xander: Spike?
Harmony: Can you believe him? He comes back with all these big promises, not that I believed him, you know. But he could have spent one night, but, no. Everything was "slayer this" and "slayer that." I mean, he probably already killed her. I'm not taking him back, I just...I just want to know why it is that men always... (She looks up and Xander has left to go warn Buffy.) Leave.
Harmony pitches a lit match behind her. The pile of Spikes things go up in flames.
Cut to Riley and Willow sitting on a couch at the party. Neither look very much in a party mood.
Riley: I can't believe it. I choked.
Willow: You really, really did.
Riley: You don't understand. I'm good at things. That's what I do. Work hard, apply myself, get it done.
Willow: Well, you failed extremely well.
Riley: That's a great comfort to me.
We see Buffy doing a "sexy dance" with another guy.
Willow: You need to relax. I mean, you're not proposing. You're just making contact, getting a reaction. Any reaction is ok, except projectile vomiting.
But, what are the chances of that--
A Dingoes Ate My Babies song comes on. Willow gets a horrifically depressed look.
Riley: Are you ok?
Willow: This song...
Riley: Oh, yeah, it's a tape of some bands from last year's party. Associations?
Willow: Big.
Riley: Bad? A.J.! (He makes a cutting motion. A.J. changes the music ignoring the murmur of protest from the crowd.)
Willow: Thank you. Now go find Buffy.
Riley: There's no hurry. I mean, if you want to talk.
Willow: No, I... I want you to find Buffy and tell her that I went home and not to worry about me. Which at least will give you something to say.
Riley: Thanks.
Willow: You'll do fine. (She leaves and Riley journeys to find Buffy. He walks over to Buffy and puts his hand on her shoulder.)
Buffy: Hey.
Riley: Um, Willow said to say that she took off. (Buffy looks upset.) Oh, no, she's ok. Kind of blue, but she said not to worry.
Buffy: Thank you.
Riley: You know... I wanted to ask you something.
Buffy: Ask away.
Xander runs in interupting them.
Xander: Buffy! I've been looking all over for you. We need... Need to talk, uh, not here. It's sort of... Unfinished business.
Buffy: Business? Right. Uh, excuse us?
Riley: No problem.
Forrest walks up.
Forrest: Denied.
Riley: It's not like she blew me off. She just left with another guy, that's all.
Forrest: We need you downstairs, anyway. (They head downstairs.) You know, I hate to say it, but they're probably on their way to make crazy naked sex.
Riley: Is that necessary?
They stand in front of a mirror and a glowing green light scans them.
Forrest: I'm protecting you, buddy. I don't want to see you mooning over some freshman for the next 3 months.
Computer: Retinal scan accepted.
They enter the elevator that opens up in the wall.
Riley: I like her.
Graham: I'm on your side, here.
Riley: I know you are, Graham. That's what gives me the strength to put up with this comedian.
Forrest: Dude, straight tip: I know girls.
Riley: Exactly! Girls, plural. I'm talkin' about one girl. (He leans into a microphone.) One girl.
Computer: Initiative vocal code match complete. Special agent Finn, Riley. Identity number 75329.
They enter the massive under ground bat cave like facility that is the headquarters of the Initiative.
Riley: The problem is, what kind of girl is gonna go out with a guy who's acting all joe regular by day and then turns all demon-hunter by night?
Graham: Maybe a peculiar one.
Riley: Thank you, Graham. You see, forrest? You don't have to be so negative all the time. Hold up. Situation?
They walk over to where Prof. Walsh is standing in a white lab coat.
Walsh: Gentlemen, suit up. We have a code red. Hostile 17 has escaped.
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Walsh: Here's what we know, and it isn't much: Hostile 17 broke restraints at exactly 2:47 P.M.
Graham, Forrest and Riley are almost done putting on their gear.
Forrest: That's a big head start.
Walsh: Gets bigger every time you interrupt me. It was bagged and tagged locally, so assume it knows the area. The creature has every advantage right now. Fail to recapture it, and everything we've worked for-- The initiative itself-- could end tonight.
Riley: Nobody's failin' on my watch.
Walsh: Glad to hear it. Gentlemen, agent Finn is now in charge of this operation. I'm counting on you, Riley.
Riley: We start with the basic mobilization pattern. 3 Teams. Sweep and search, just like practice. Thorough but fast. C-team: Take the campus perimeter. Make sure it can't leave. Stake it if you gotta, but only as a last resort. B-team: You're going down. Tunnels, sewers, cemeteries. Gates and miller are with me. We take the heart of campus and work our way out. All units, maintain radio contact early and often. Who's got questions? Move!
Cut to Giles apartment where Buffy, Xander and Giles are gathered.
Buffy: What is wrong with him? Doesn't spike get that this is my town?
Giles: He's resilient.
Buffy: And it's my night off.
Xander: I'm sure he'd pick another night if he knew you were busy with teutonic boy toy.
Buffy: What is that supposed to mean?
Xander: Nothing.
Buffy: Riley's a doof. He's not teutonic.
Giles: We have to assume that Spike's main target is you, Buffy.
Buffy: Fine. You know what? He's worn out his welcome. Tonight, I kill him.
Giles: You have a plan?
Buffy: I am the plan. If spike wants me, I go alone... No arguments.
Lead him away from the popular places and give him what he wants.
Buffy gets up to leave and Xander goes after her.
Xander: Oh, wait, wait! Take this.
He gives her a flare gun.
Buffy: A flare gun? Xander, if I find spike, I'm staking him, not signalling ships at sea.
Xander: You get into trouble...
Buffy: Ok. I'll flare.
Xander: And we'll come a-runnin'. (Buffy leaves.) Do you think Spike'll find her?
Giles: I'm sure of it.
Cut to Spike sitting at a computer. He's scrolling down a list of student dorm names and their housing. He reaches Buffy's name.
Spike: Hello, gorgeous.
Cut to the woods where Graham, Forrest and Riley are leaving a wooden shed type thing. They walk to a clearing where they see Buffy sitting on a park bench alone through binoculars.
Riley: What've we got?
Graham: Civilian, sir.
Graham gives him his binoculars and Riley looks through them recognising Buffy.
Riley: Ah, damn.
Forrest: She's compromising the area. At least she's not making crazy, naked sex.
Riley: Told you. We gotta clear her outta there... Fast.
Forrest: Maybe not. Just thinking. If you were hostile 17, living off the crap we feed 'em, what would you rather eat than that?
Riley: You wanna use the girl I got a crush on as bait?
Forrest: I can tag a hostile at 50 yards.
Riley: Denied.
Forrest: She'd be safe the entire--
Riley: I said denied, agent.
Forrest: Did you just pull rank on me?
Riley: Do you have a problem with that?
Forrest: No, sir. So, how're we gonna get her out of there?
Riley, no longer wearing kevlar walks up to where Buffy is sitting on the bench.
Buffy: Riley! What are you doing here?
Riley: Well, I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to you after the party. You left so fast. You know, with your friend... Who's a boy.
Buffy: Uh, xander? He's not anyone that I... Want to talk about, right now. Um... You know, I don't want you taking this the wrong way... It's just, um... I need a little alone time now... Alone.
Riley: Why?
Buffy: I need space.
Riley: We're outdoors.
Buffy: Emotionally. (She pauses looking for something better to say and gives up.)I mean, emotionally...
Riley: You know, there's plenty of space back in your room why don't I take you? You wouldn't believe the weirdos out at this hour.
He starts to lead her off.
Buffy: Whoa! Ok... It's a free campus. Who died and made you John Wayne?
Riley: I'm just trying to help.
Buffy: You think I need help? Believe me, I don't. You know, if you were a real gentleman, then you would just leave. You would go far, far away, now! Shoo!
Riley: Are you drunk?
Buffy: Yes! Go and report me.
Riley: I'm taking you home. Come on.
He goes to grab her and lead her off.
Buffy: Oh, did you ever think maybe I'm gonna take you home, huh? What? You think that boys can take care of themselves and girls need help?
Riley: Yeah.
Buffy: That is so teutonic.
Riley: Look, Buffy, as long as you're out here, I'm staying.
Buffy: Well, as long as you're out here, I'm staying.
They hear a scream.
Riley: Gotta go.
Buffy: See ya!
They both run off in opposite directions.
Riley: Tell me we're tracking.
They're looking a some sort of tracking device.
Graham: Honing a signal. Got it... Heading west. Better be the hostile.
Forrest: All units converge, all units converge. Hard target sighted. Heading 1-2 alpha niner. Let's bag it before this gets ugly.
Cut to Willow and Buffy's dorm room. Willow's moping again on her bed listening to sad music. There's a knock at the door.
Willow: Come in. (Spike walks in. Willow is immediately alarmed and gets up.) Spike! Wh-what do you want? Uh, a spell? I can do that.
She goes to run past him, but he grabs her and and throws her against her dresser.
Spike: I'll give you a choice. (He walks over to her.) Now I'm gonna kill you. No choice in that. But... I can let you stay dead... Or... Bring you back, to be like me.
Willow: I--I'll scream.
Spike: Bonus.
Willow screams.
Spike throws her on the bed and then turns the radio up to a blaring level.
Willow: No!
Spike jumps on her and they battle but he goes to bite her.
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Spike: I don't understand. This sort of thing's never happened to me before. (He's sitting on Willow's bed.)
Willow: Maybe you were nervous.
Spike: I felt all right when I started. Let's try again. (He leaps on her and draws back immediately. He tries again and the same thing happens.) Ow! Oh! Ow! Damn it! (He gets up and kicks the dresser. He starts to pace around the room.)
Willow: Maybe you're trying too hard. Doesn't this happen to every vampire?
Spike: Not to me, it doesn't!
Willow: It's me, isn't it?
Spike: What are you talking about?
Willow: Well, you came looking for Buffy, then settled. I--I... You didn't want to bite me. I just happened to be around.
Spike: Piffle!
Willow: I know I'm not the kind of girl vamps like to sink their teeth into. It's always like, "ooh, you're like a sister to me," or, "oh, you're such a good friend."
Spike: Don't be ridiculous. I'd bite you in a heartbeat.
Willow: Really?
Spike sits on her bed again.
Spike: Thought about it.
Willow: When?
Spike: Remember last year, you had on that... Fuzzy pink number with the lilac underneath?
Willow: I never would have guessed. You played the blood-lust kinda cool.
Spike: Mmm. I hate being obvious. All fang-y and "rrrr!" Takes the mystery out.
Willow: But if you could...
Spike: If I could, yeah.
Willow: You know, this doesn't make you any less terrifying.
Spike: Don't patronize me.
Cut to the outside of Willow's dorm. Graham, Forrest and Riley are hiding in the bushes, peering at a tempeture senor.
Graham: I'm getting a picture... Signature's locked.
Riley: What've we got?
Graham: Humans of the freshman variety. 98.6, 98.6... Bingo! Got a cold one.
Thermal output clockin' in at exactly... Room temperature. Vampire. Call in a standard triangle flanking maneuver.
Riley: We're going in. I need a lockdown on grid 6.
Spike: I'm only 126.
Willow: You're being too hard on yourself. Why don't we wait a half an hour and try again? Or... (She picks up a lamp and smashes it over his head. She runs over to her door and tries to leave, but it's locked.)
The lights go out outside in the hall. Riley, Graham and Forrest run in the dorm wearing night vision goggles. They race up the stairs and when they reach the top students scramble out of their way. They head down the hall and reach Willow's room. They bust the door down and Willow races out knocking them out of the way. One of them points the tranquilizer gun at Willow.
Riley: No, hold your fire!
Spike rushes out and slams Graham into a wall. Willow cowers in a corner. Spike rushes over to bite Graham but can't due to a severe burst of pain.
Graham: It's on me! (Spike rushes over to bite Graham but can't due to a severe burst of pain.)
Spike: Aah!
Commando: Move!
Spike struggles but is eventually contained.
Commando: Bag it, tag it. We're gone. Sir... Civilian. Could have turned. (Referring to Willow cowering in a corner.)
Riley: Leave her.
Commando: We can't neglect quarantine, sir!
Spike breaks free. He grabs a fire extinguisher and smashes a commando with it. Another goes to shoot him, but he holds up the extinguisher and it's shot, which makes the hall fill with CO2 gas. Willow crawls towards her room.
Commando: Stop her!
A commando grabs her.
Commando: She's contained.
Buffy: Contain this! (The commando who has Willow turns around and is blinded as his night vision goggles are overloaded when Buffy shoots off the flare gun. The flare bounces around the room.)
All: Aah! Ow! I'm blind! What the hell was that?
The commandos tear off their goggles. Buffy shoos Willow into their room. Buffy begins to fight the commandos. (Neither she nor Riley recognize each other. Riley is blinded and Buffy doesn't recognize him because of the disguise of his gear and face mask.) Buffy is redirected into a wall by Riley. Spike sees a way to escape and does. Buffy gets up and dodges a kick, then a punch and then reciprocated and lands a punch. She gets him in a corner and lands about a dozen quickly repeated punches on his stomach. He get a hold of himself, then punches Buffy in the face. She flies back. Cut to Spike who runs down the hall and jumps out a window. Graham and Forrest follow him, but stop at the window. Cut back to Buffy and Riley fighting. Buffy is redirected into a wall. She gets up and slams him in the face with a folding chair. She delivers a roundhouse kick and flips him over onto the floor. He gets up and through his hazy vision realizes there's something amiss.
Riley: Abort!
Cut to the Initiative facility.
Walsh: I'm sure you'll understand if I seem far from happy.
Riley: Yes, ma'am. If you read my report you'll see--
Walsh: Hostile 17's found an accomplice who's smart, aggressive, and somehow escapes description.
Forrest: Whoever he was, the guy was big.
Graham: Strong, too.
Riley: Whoever... Or whatever.
Walsh: I'm not interested in guess work, gentlemen. Call me old-fashioned. I like results. This report reads like a child's riddle book. Agent Finn, tell me something good. My implant?
Riley: The implant works. Hostile 17 can't harm any living creature, In any way, without intense neurological pain. We'll bag it.
Walsh: Yes, you will. Dismissed.
Cut to the next day. Riley sees Buffy walking across the campus. He heads towards her.
Riley: Hey.
Buffy: Hi.
Riley: Listen, sorry about last night.
Buffy: No, no... I was rude. I just felt like being alone. Sometimes it's nice to be out by yourself at night.
Riley: I hear that. Gotta be careful, though. Lotta strange... People out there.
Buffy: Oh, yeah.
Riley: How's willow doing?
Buffy: Ok. 'Course, that stupid fraternity prank on our dorm didn't help any.
Riley: That's right. I forgot you guys live in stevenson.
Buffy: You knew that?
Riley: Well, Willow and I were... I thought she might be able to help me on a project.
Buffy: Really? That work out for you?
Riley: Don't know yet.
Buffy: Uh, last night... At the party, You wanted to tell me something?
Riley: Oh, yeah. Very important stuff. I don't remember any of it now. But you would have been fascinated, possibly even moved. Did Willow tell you I like cheese?
Buffy: You're a little peculiar.
Riley: I can live with that.