You're Welcome Transcript
Angel the Series
5x12— Episode #100 "You're Welcome"
Written by David Fury
Directed by David Fury
Originally aired February 4, 2004
PROLOGUE:
1 INT. BASEMENT APARTMENT - NIGHT
A dark room is lit only by red and white candles arranged on a table in a circle. A loud knocking on the door causes the tables to shake as it's beaten down from the outside. The door handle rattles as it falls to the floor. Angel, Fred, Wes, and Gunn are in the doorway with flashlights. They walk in and look around.
FRED
(holding a glowing red handheld device and reading from its display screen)
He's been here. Picking up loads of trace signatures.
(walking forward without looking up from the device)
WESLEY
Fred.
(shines his flashlight on the floor)
FRED
(continues moving forward without looking up)
Hair follicles, enzymes, and something... blood... but it's not his, it's—
(looks up from the display to see several bloody nuns on the floor with their throats slit)
Oh, God.
WESLEY
I think God is out at the moment.
GUNN
Why would Greenway do this? It was just a stupid racketeering charge. I told him we'd get him off with probation, so long as he shut down operations.
Wesley shines his flashlight around the room, inspecting the scene.
ANGEL
He's a Wolfram & Hart client. Our client. Oh, and he's evil. What are the odds?
FRED
What do we do now?
ANGEL
Now? I find Greenway, and I kill every inch of him.
WESLEY
(walks forward to investigate the altar)
You won't. 5 holy women. This wasn't random. It's ritual. He's jumped dimensions.
ANGEL
What?
WESLEY
Also, not shockingly, our client practices black arts. He's escaped through a pan-dimensional doorway, disappeared into any one of infinite universes.
ANGEL
Fred?
FRED
My equipment's not calibrated to track anything out of this dimension. Even if such a thing is possible, it would take months or maybe years—
ANGEL
(throws up his hands)
That's it.
FRED
But probably months, or maybe weeks if I really push—
ANGEL
(backs up toward the door)
I can't do this anymore.
GUNN
Do what?
ANGEL
Any of this. Living with it. Running Wolfram & Hart.
(throws up his hands)
I quit.
(exits)
Cut to:
2 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - NIGHT
The camera proceeds down a long hospital corridor and turns to enter a room.
Images of the symbols painted on the door of Eve's apartment.
Images of the symbols tattooed on Doyle's chest.
Images of Angel doubling over in pain.
Inside the hospital room, Cordelia gasps as she is thrust into consciousness by a vision.
Fade to black.
Opening credits.
ACT I:
3 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - DAY
Angel's sitting on the edge of his desk talking to Fred, Gunn, Wesley, and Lorne.
ANGEL
There's nothing more to discuss. I'm resigning.
LORNE
Gee, it seems like a ripe topic for discussion to me.
WESLEY
What happened last night was tragic. It's a terrible setback, but—
ANGEL
(stands and walks around to his desk chair)
Setback, Wes? It's status quo. Evil wins, 'cause instead of just wiping it out, we negotiate with it. Or worse...for it.
FRED
Angel, we're doing the best we can.
ANGEL
It's not that you guys aren't doing your jobs. It's that we shouldn't be doing these jobs in the first place... or I shouldn't.
GUNN
I'd say we've all had a bellyful. Any thought about what would happen to us if we tried to say bye-bye? The ramifications, I mean. You think the senior partners are just gonna let us breeze on out the front door?
FRED
You're saying we're trapped here?
GUNN
I'm saying we knew what we were getting into when we signed up for this gig. Let's not start pretending that this was some lease with an option to buy.
ANGEL
Gunn, you really think they won't let us out? Or is it that you just don't want to leave?
GUNN
(looks to his side, then looks at Angel, raising his eyebrows)
OK. Maybe I don't. It's 'cause I believe in what we're doing. We made the right call.
ANGEL
And I'm sure that legal brain upgrade they gave you has got nothing to do with—
GUNN
We all got something out of this.
The telephone rings. Angel picks up the phone.
ANGEL
Yeah. It's Angel.
(sits forward)
What?
WESLEY
What is it?
ANGEL
(tilts phone receiver away from his mouth to answer Wesley)
It's Cordelia.
Cut to:
4 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY
Angel and Wesley walk into Cordelia's hospital room and see a woman lying on the bed under a pink blanket. Her face is obscured by a privacy curtain, but they can see she's still and attached to the hospital machinery. Wesley and Angel hesitate to approach her.
ANGEL
Cordelia?
CORDELIA
(walks out from the bathroom in a hospital gown)
Yeah.
(walks around the girl's bed)
That chick's in rough shape.
(draws the privacy curtain closed)
You'd think they'd give miss one-foot-in-the- grave a private room... which brings me to, hey... couldn't you stick me someplace that smells a little less like ammonia-soaked death?
ANGEL
(hugs Cordy for a long time)
Cordy.
CORDELIA
Yeah. It's me.
(Angel steps back so Wesley can hug her; Cordy laughs)
WESLEY
(smiling, giddy)
It's extraordinary. You're— you look... I don't want to say really hot—
CORDELIA
Oh, yes, you do.
(touches her shoulders and smiles heavenward)
I'm a vision of hotliness, and how weird is that?
(laughs)
Mystical comas. You know, if you can stand the horror of a higher power hijacking your mind and body so that it can give birth to itself, I really recommend 'em.
ANGEL
You remember?
CORDELIA
Last year? Yeah. I remember everything... pretty much. At least until I slipped into slumberland. Maternal instincts aside, I hope you kicked its ass for me.
(Angel says nothing but shoots an awkward glance at Wesley, who doesn't react)
Is everybody all right?
ANGEL
Yeah. Uh...great. We're all—
WESLEY
(smiling)
Yes. Super.
ANGEL
(nods)
Super. Yes. Super. Hey, why don't we get you out of here?
CORDELIA
Ooh! I love that plan. I hope you brought me some clothes, 'cause...
(looks at her hospital gown, then shakes her head)
damn.
ANGEL
(stammering)
Oh, well, we—
WESLEY
We could stop and buy some.
CORDELIA
(squealing and clapping cheerfully)
Ooh! Great! Shopping! I love that idea, 'cause, you know, I'm not so ready to go back to the hotel yet.
(walks toward the doorway)
ANGEL
(Angel and Wesley look at each other and smile)
Not a problem.
Cut to:
5 INT. LOBBY OF WOLFRAM & HART - DAY
The elevator doors open, and Angel and Wesley step out, but Cordelia doesn't follow.
CORDELIA
(shrugs)
I can't.
ANGEL
It's OK.
(Cordelia sighs, steps off the elevator into the lobby, and looks around skeptically)
See? It's just an office. Going about its day. Nothing scary popping out at you. Just regular people—
Cordelia gasps as she turns and sees Sebassis's pale, emaciated, horned slave looking at her as he's led through the lobby on a chain.
LAWYER
(talking to one of Sebassis's cronies)
Yeah, I found the scamp hiding in one of the copiers, you know? Living on nothing but toner fluid. Can you beat that? The slave, I mean. I mean, I assume the Archduke's gonna beat him and all that.
ANGEL
(turns to Cordelia, panicked; steps between her and the slave)
That's—ha—nothing. Hey, do you wanna see my office?
CORDELIA
(nervously, watching the slave be led away)
Yeah.
Cut to:
6 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - DAY
Angel leads Cordelia into his office.
CORDELIA
Lorne!
LORNE
Are you huggable?
(hugs Cordelia)
CORDELIA
It is so good to see—
(looks over Lorne's shoulder and sees Gunn)
Oh, my God. Gunn? You have hair.
GUNN
Oh—ha—yeah. What did you think? I was prematurely bald?
(Cordelia says nothing)
I wasn't.
(hugs Cordelia)
Cordelia laughs. Fred taps Gunn on the shoulder. He steps back so Fred can hug Cordelia too.
CORDELIA
Oh! Hey, Fred.
FRED
Hi, Cordy.
(they hug)
CORDELIA
(laughs)
So, where's Connor?
GUNN
(casually)
Who?
CORDELIA
What do you mean, who? Connor. Isn't he—
(to Angel) Angel, where's your s—
HARMONY
(interrupts with a teenage girl's shriek)
Aah! Oh, my God!
(runs up to Cordy and hugs her tightly around the neck)
I can't believe you're here!
(hugs Cordy again)
CORDELIA
(annoyed)
Likewise. Especially since the last time I saw you, you tried to kill me.
ANGEL
Um, Harmony, she's— actually, she... she's my secretary.
CORDELIA
Oh. Well, things just keep getting better and better.
HARMONY
(smiling excitedly)
I know. You and me together again. So, how was the coma?
Cordelia rolls her eyes.
ANGEL
Uh, Harmony, I think Cordy's had enough excitement for the day. Why don't you— Why doesn't everybody get back to work?
GUNN
(waves)
Great to see you.
(exits)
FRED
Bye.
(exits)
HARMONY
(whispers)
We'll talk later.
(exits)
LORNE
(hovering at the door)
Hey, listen, crumbcake, when you're ready to splash back into that acting pool, just say the word. I'll have you lunching with Colin Farrell like that.
(exits)
CORDELIA
Who's Colin Farrell?
ANGEL
Cordy, I know there's a lot to take in, a lot of changes, but I promise you... things here are working out.
CORDELIA
Really?
ANGEL
Well, yeah. With these resources, there's nothing we can't do, no one we can't save.
(sits on the back of a chair)
CORDELIA
Except maybe yourself.
ANGEL
What?
CORDELIA
(walks toward Angel)
I had a vision... from the you-know-what that be. That's what woke me up.
(pacing)
And you know something? When higher powers send you coma visions, you'd better pay attention.
ANGEL
What did you see?
CORDELIA
You. In trouble.
(pacing)
Also, these weird symbols. Glyphs, I guess. On a wall... and on flesh. A tattoo, and—
(stops pacing; stares at Angel)
There's a woman behind you.
ANGEL
You saw a woman in your vision?
CORDELIA
No, lunkhead, right now.
(motions with her eyes)
Behind you.
Angel turns to look behind him to see Eve stepping out of his personal elevator.
EVE
(motions to the elevator as its doors close behind her)
You weren't home upstairs. Didn't think you'd mind me using your private elevator.
ANGEL
Eve, I mind you breathing. Get out.
EVE
(walks around behind his desk toward Cordelia)
Yeah, sure. Except I'm here to convey the partners' concern. A little issue of you letting a client skip out of our dimension. Dead nuns we can deal with, but the firm's out 10 million in bail costs.
(to Cordelia) I ask you, is that any way to run a business?
(to Angel) Who's your friend, Angel?
CORDELIA
(glaring at Eve)
I'm Cordelia Chase.
EVE
Oh. My name is—
CORDELIA
(cocks her head)
I didn't ask.
(walks toward Angel; stands beside him)
EVE
Right. Cordelia Chase. Oh, yeah. Angel talked a lot about you...at first.
ANGEL
I thought I told security not to let you in this building.
EVE
Sweetie, I'm liaison to the senior partners. You honestly think you have any control over my comings and goings?
(sits on the couch)
Well, maybe not my goings, but you did have a way with my comings at the Halloween party.
CORDELIA
(rolls her eyes)
So you two are groin buddies?
(looks at Angel)
And I thought Darla was rock bottom.
ANGEL
We're not.
(sighs)
Just...once. There were special circumstances. Lorne told us to, but mystically.
EVE
(stands)
We'll talk business later, big guy. I'll let you two catch up.
(walks to the door)
ANGEL
(following her out of the office)
And I'll let you walk out of here with your head still attached to your body.
(to Harmony) Harmony, I want security keeping tabs on eve while she's in the building.
HARMONY
Got it, bossy.
CORDELIA
(standing in Angel's doorway)
That's the kind of person you do business with now? Angel, do you realize what's happening? You've made a deal with the devil.
ANGEL
(shrugs, shakes her off)
Oh, come on, Cordy. You're being a little overdramatic. It's not that, uh—
A red-skinned demon with black hair, horns, and a goatee walks up to Angel wearing a suit and holding a briefcase.
DEVIL
I gotta go.
(offers his hand to Angel)
Everything's in place. They'll draw up the paperwork.
ANGEL
(shakes the Devil's hand)
Good. Great.
DEVIL
(walks toward the elevator, but turns back to Angel)
Racquetball Thursday?
ANGEL
(nods)
OK, then.
CORDELIA
(rolls her eyes, sighs)
Ohh.
(walks back into Angel's office)
ANGEL
What did I do?
Cut to:
7 INT. SPIKE'S APARTMENT - DAY
Spike's sitting on his couch playing a video game in the dark.
SPIKE
You made the biggest mistake of your life, and I'm gonna make you pay. Oh, yeah.
(punches video game control buttons)
Feel my wrath, gorilla throwing barrels.
(his game makes a losing sound)
Bloody hell.
(sighs, continues pressing buttons)
Really should knock on a bloke's door... especially one that's got no qualms about killing trespassers.
Widen the camera angle to reveal Doyle is standing in Spike's doorway.
DOYLE
(walks in)
Come on.
(sits on the couch beside Spike)
Is that any way to talk to your benefactor? Just a little concerned about you. You haven't been out in the field lately.
SPIKE
In case you haven't been keeping up with the sports pages, I got my bloody hands hacked off by that deranged slayer you sent me after.
(points at Doyle)
DOYLE
Yeah, I'm sorry about that, but, hey, your good old buddies at Wolfram & Hart managed to reattach them just fine, huh? You can sit around here and play video games.
SPIKE
Rehab, mate. Working out the digits.
(wiggles his fingers in Doyle's face; puts down controls; walks toward refrigerator)
You got no idea how rotten this feels.
DOYLE
(laughs)
Amazingly enough, I do. Yeah. Got my hand cut off a few years back. Line of duty. So believe me when I tell you, I can feel your pain.
TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: Since "Doyle" looks like Lindsey, and now he claims to have the same injury that Lindsey had, I will henceforth refer to him as "Lindsey" in the transcript, despite the fact he may still claim to be Doyle.
SPIKE
(grabs a beer from the refrigerator)
Well, half of it, anyway. I'll give you that.
(opens the beer)
"DOYLE" / LINDSEY
Don't forget you got a job to do.
(Spike sits back on the couch and sips his beer)
The powers that be are counting on their champion.
(Spike starts playing the game again)
So are all the other helpless people—
SPIKE
I don't need a pep talk, Doyle. I already plan on going out. You just get one of your visions to tell me when and where.
LINDSEY
That's what I like—
(cell phone rings)
That's what I like to hear.
(stands, walks a few feet away; talks on the cell phone)
Yeah.
EVE (O.S.)
We've got a big problem.
LINDSEY
Can this wait?
EVE
Kinda not. Cordelia Chase is awake.
LINDSEY
Really.
EVE
She's talking about some vision she had. Steering Angel right toward you.
SPIKE
(pressing the video game controls frantically)
Come on! You stupid plumber!
(throws the controls down and starts rattling the TV and game box)
LINDSEY
(to Eve) Well, now... I guess this calls for a change of plans.
Fade to black.
ACT II:
8 INT. ANGEL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Angel walks off of his private elevator into his apartment. From the other room, he hears Doyle (from Angel Season 1). Cordelia is sitting on the edge of the bed watching the tape of a promotional spot she and Doyle made in the early days of Angel Investigations.
On the video:
DOYLE
If you need help, "then look no further. Angel Investigations is the best. Our rats are low—"
CORDELIA (O.S.)
Rates.
DOYLE
It says rats.
"Our rates are low, but our standards are high. When the chips are down, and you're at the end of your rope, you need someone that you can count on, and that's what you'll find here, someone who will go all the way, who'll protect you no matter what. So don't lose hope."
CORDELIA
(pauses video)
Sorry. I was snooping. I found this.
ANGEL
No, it's—it's OK. I just... You couldn't sleep?
CORDELIA
Oh. No sleep for me. I slept enough for one lifetime.
ANGEL
(looks at the television and sits beside Cordelia)
Been a long while since I've seen that.
CORDELIA
The first soldier down.
ANGEL
(sighs)
Yeah.
CORDELIA
Doyle Pissed me off so righteously going out like that, but he knew. He knew what he had to do. Didn't compromise. Used his last breath to make sure you'd keep fighting. I get that now.
ANGEL
Cordy...there are reasons I agreed to take over Wolfram & Hart, reasons you don't understand.
CORDELIA
(stands, indignant)
I understand just fine.
(walks around the apartment, gesturing)
They seduced you with all their fancy facilities, manpower. They threw a whole bunch of money at you, plied you with all these expensive toys and penthouses with spectacular views, and—
(looks out his window, admiring the view)
really spectacular.
(to Angel) What was I saying?
ANGEL
I've been seduced.
CORDELIA
That's right, pal. They dazzled you with shiny objects and beautiful things and— There is no reason you could give me—
ANGEL
Connor.
CORDELIA
Where is Connor? Why did Gunn ask—
ANGEL
(walks into the living room)
They don't remember him. It's part of my agreement to take this job. The senior partners altered reality. They gave Connor a life, a real family, and a childhood. Something I could never give him. He's got no memories of us. And no one remembers him.
(sits on a chair arm)
Except me and you. And Eve, for some reason.
CORDELIA
So, not only did you strike a deal with your worst enemy to give up your son, you let them rape the memories of your friends who trust you?
ANGEL
He was about to kill you. And himself. He was so torn up. I didn't have any other way to stop him, any way to help him. Connor's happy now.
(stands)
And...we're doing fine here.
(paces)
I mean, we've done some great work here—
CORDELIA
Don't give me that, "everything's fine here" company line. I'm not buying it. Neither are you. And neither are the Powers That Be. Why do you think they woke me up, gave me that vision? They know you slipped the track, and they want me to help put you back on it.
ANGEL
You're wrong about the Powers. They're not in my corner anymore.
(rolls his eyes)
It looks like Spike is their new champion.
CORDELIA
Spike? Spike who?
ANGEL
Spike. He's got a soul now. And he saved the world. And he's out there on the streets. You know, helping the...helpless.
CORDELIA
OK, Spike's a hero, and you're C.E.O. of Hell, Incorporated.
(holds up her hands)
What freakin' bizarro world did I wake up in?
ANGEL
(sits, hangs his head)
I'm sorry.
CORDELIA
I naturally assumed you'd be lost without me, but this?
ANGEL
I am lost without you.
CORDELIA
You just forgot who you are.
ANGEL
Remind me.
CORDELIA
Uh, no. That's for you to figure out, bubba. I can tell you who you were. A guy who always fought his hardest for what was right, even when he couldn't remember why. Even when he was miserable, which was, let's face it, a not small portion of the time. He did right. And that gave him something. A light, a glimmer. And that's the guy I fell in—
(stops herself; looks down trying to rephrase)
That, um... the guy I knew.
(sits in a chair across from Angel)
I see him around here, then maybe I'll start believing.
ANGEL
Let me know if you do.
CORDELIA
Do you ever wonder... Do you ever think about if we'd met up that night and had a chance to—
ANGEL
All the time.
CORDELIA
(looks down)
Guess we missed our moment, huh?
ANGEL
Maybe we were meant to. Or maybe people like us just don't get to...have that.
CORDELIA
Angel, there are no people like us.
Cut to:
9 EXT. PATIO AT EVE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Eve and Lindsey are sitting together in a chaise lounge patio chair naked, wrapped in a blanket, under the open night sky. Eve is resting her head on his chest while he strokes her hair.
EVE
You're not worried at all?
LINDSEY
She's awake. That means the powers that be are getting nervous. Taking an interest. Higher stakes. That likes me fine. Not sitting at the $5 table anymore.
(kisses her forehead)
EVE
You know the house always wins.
LINDSEY
So the question becomes whose house are we in? The senior partners gave that Eurotrash vampire everything I've worked for. I couldn't let that slide. They didn't see me coming. Maybe they're getting too old for this.
EVE
(looks up at Lindsey)
It all comes back to Angel, doesn't it? He's still the center of your universe.
LINDSEY
No, baby.
(touches her neck)
You are.
(kisses her lips)
Cut to:
10 INT. WESLEY'S OFFICE - DAY
Cordelia is sitting at Wesley's desk reading through volumes of text. Wesley is pacing the room, also reading. The desk is covered with dozens of thick, old books.
CORDELIA
(stops reading, looks up)
Remember how I said, "Let's not have your department looking for those symbols I saw in my vision. Let's do this like we used to, you and me cracking the books"?
WESLEY
Yes.
CORDELIA
Well, that was dumb. What'd you ever listen to me for?
WESLEY
I don't know. I think I sort of missed this. You and me and the books,
(speaking in a "hip" manner)
kicking it old school, as they say.
(winces, shakes his head)
And I never will again.
CORDELIA
(chuckles)
Wes?
(stands and walks up to Wesley)
Last year, when that, um, higher...whatever took over my body, did those things. Nobody's talking about it.
(smiles nervously, looks at Wesley, concerned)
WESLEY
(sits, looks at Cordelia)
What's to say? We all understand it wasn't you.
CORDELIA
Do you?
WESLEY
You didn't kill Lilah.
CORDELIA
I know. Still... I'm sorry.
(sits on the edge of Wesley's desk)
I just wanted to tell you that before—
(catches a book that's about to fall)
Hey! That's them.
(shows Wesley the book, already opened to an appropriate page)
Those. The tats. Look.
(holds up a sketch pad where she drew the symbols from her vision to compare to the book)
WESLEY
Protection runes derived from the Enochian alphabet. The ones from your vision are symbols, some kind of concealment spell. "Clouds before the all-seeing eyes."
CORDELIA
Mmm. OK. This part I didn't miss. Cryptic poetry.
(sits at the desk)
WESLEY
They protect the bearer from being viewed remotely from higher powers, seers, mystics. Or, transposed to today, any means of modern surveillance.
CORDELIA
Somebody really wants to stay hidden.
Cut to:
11 INT. BASEMENT AT WOLFRAM & HART - DAY
Lindsey walks down a corridor in the basement of Wolfram & Hart. He stops at a door marked "Maintenance: Restricted Access", swipes a keycard in a reader to unlock it, and walks through the door, closing it behind him. Lindsey walks down a staircase and finds himself facing a net of green laser beams. He walks right through them without incident. Once past them, he looks up into the security camera and waves "hello".
Cut to the security office where the guards monitor numerous video screens from security cameras across the building. Lindsey doesn't show up on the monitor showing the basement room.
Lindsey continues walking.
A demon in a white lab coat is pressing buttons on a handheld electronic device when he's stabbed from behind. The demon falls to the ground with a grunt, blood oozing from his mouth, revealing Lindsey standing behind him. Lindsey takes out his pocket knife and cuts the cord holding a crystal around the demon's neck and takes the crystal. Lindsey kicks the demon off the platform he's standing on.
Cut to:
12 INT. HALLWAY AT WOLFRAM & HART - DAY
Cordelia is walking down the hallway.
CORDELIA
This place is like a rat maze.
(scoffs as a lawyer passes her in the hall)
Complete with rats.
(shrugs, seemingly lost; turns around to see Spike walking toward her)
Spike.
(smiles, laughs)
Well, well. I heard you weren't evil anymore, which kind of makes the hair silly.
(Spike changes into vampire facade)
Or nice?
(Spike walks purposefully toward Cordelia)
Aah! Aah!
(Spike grabs Cordelia and bites her neck; Cordy screams)
Aah!
Fade to black.
ACT III:
13 INT. HALLWAY AT WOLFRAM & HART - DAY
Spike steps back voluntarily from biting Cordelia's neck, but moments later, he's charged by Angel, who knocks him to the ground. Angel punches Spike in the face, and Spike responds with a kick to Angel's chest.
SPIKE
(puts Angel in a headlock)
You took me on and lost, remember, old man?
ANGEL
Touch Cordelia again...
(breaks free of Spike's grip, lifts Spike into the air, and throws Spike to the ground)
get ready for our very last rematch.
SPIKE
(getting to his feet)
She's evil, you gourmless tit.
CORDELIA
(holding her neck, indignant)
Excuse me? Who bit whom?
ANGEL
Did you call me a tit?
CORDELIA
I thought he had a soul.
SPIKE
(points at Cordelia)
(to Angel) I thought she didn't.
CORDELIA
I do.
SPIKE
So do I.
CORDELIA
Well, clearly, mine's better.
SPIKE
(steps toward Cordelia)
Look—
ANGEL
(grabs Spike by the lapels and throws his back into the wall)
I see fangs, I'm gonna play dentist.
CORDELIA
And you called this guy the big hero?
SPIKE
(to Angel) You called me a hero?
ANGEL
I didn't know you were eating people.
SPIKE
(headbutts Angel, sending them apart, both reeling and holding their foreheads in pain)
Ow! God. It was a taste test, you git. I needed to know if what my source said is true.
(to Cordelia) And, actually, well, you don't taste evil. Demons are more...astringent with a sort of oakie, really—
ANGEL
What source?
SPIKE
I've got a guy. Has an in with the powers that whatsit. Gets these visions.
(Angel and Cordelia look at each other)
ANGEL
Visions?
SPIKE
Yeah. Said Cordelia was taken over by some big bad. Came to destroy you all.
CORDELIA
(rolls her eyes)
His vision's a rerun.
ANGEL
The thing that possessed Cordy's long dead, Spike.
SPIKE
Well, looks like tattoo boy was wrong this time.
CORDELIA
Wait.
(raises her eyebrows)
Tattoos? What kind of tattoos?
SPIKE
I don't know. Symbols. Tribal-like.
ANGEL
This guy with the visions, did he have a name?
SPIKE
Called himself Doyle.
Angel and Cordelia freeze, staring incredulously at Spike. Meanwhile, down the hall, Eve is watching them talk, talking on her cell phone.
EVE
No, he didn't kill her. She's still alive.
(walks out of view)
Now they're talking. A lot.
LINDSEY
Hey, it was a long shot. Listen, babe, I'm almost there, all right? So get out of the building. Right now.
Eve hangs up the cell phone, and when she looks up, Angel and Cordelia are standing right in front of her, smiling knowingly.
ANGEL
Can we have a word with you, Eve?
EVE
Now's really not a good time.
CORDELIA
(grabs Eve by the ear)
Let's go, Lilah junior.
(escorts Eve into Angel's office)
Cut to:
14 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - DAY
Cordelia throws Eve into a chair. Eve's surrounded by Gunn, Angel, Cordelia, Lorne, Fred, and Wesley. Spike's sitting near the window.
ANGEL
We've got a problem, Eve.
EVE
Damn right, you do. When I tell the partners you assaulted me—
ANGEL
(pacing)
A couple weeks ago, a man approached Spike. Told him that the powers that be have some missions for him. Spike, brain trust that he is, went along with it.
SPIKE
(insulted)
Hey.
ANGEL
(standing in front of Eve now)
He's the one who told Spike to save me from the parasite. The parasite you put on me in the first place.
EVE
Not this again.
(starts to stand)
CORDELIA
(steps in front of Eve)
Get out of that chair and I will feed you those Manolo Blahniks.
(looks at Eve's shoes)
Which are stunning, by the way.
(smirks)
ANGEL
Seems to me like you and this guy are working together.
EVE
(sits)
Look, I don't know what you're talking about. But you can't keep me here. I have to leave.
ANGEL
But the thing that really, really pisses me off is that this guy seems to be going by the name of Doyle.
EVE
Doesn't ring a bell.
CORDELIA
(walks closer to Eve)
It does to me.
(yelling in Eve's face)
It rings a big fricking gong,
(pointing)
and I wanna know who has the nerve to be using that name.
ANGEL
I'm gonna give you one chance to tell me where he is.
EVE
Look, I don't know what—
HARMONY
(opens the door, walks in)
Excuse me, boss?
ANGEL
Not now, Harmony.
HARMONY
OK, but do I get the afternoon off, too?
ANGEL
What are you talking about?
HARMONY
Everybody's gone. The whole building cleared out a few minutes ago.
ANGEL
What's going on, Eve?
Cut to:
15 INT. BASEMENT CHAMBER - DAY
Lindsey has entered a futuristic-looking round chamber with blue fluorescent lights and white walls. At the center is a round submerged underground holding tank and attached to it are some computerized and mechanical controls. Lindsey triggers the lights to come on and the control panel to light up. A tube has come up out of the panel, and Lindsey removes the demon's crystal from his pocket to place it inside the tube, where it's a perfect fit. An iris closes over the crystal, closing the crystal inside the tube. The tube recesses into the panel, and a timer starts increasing in seconds. Steam vents from the center of the room, and the bars that held the underground tank submerged retract.
LINDSEY
Wakey, wakey.
Cut to:
16 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - DAY
Gunn comes back into Angel's office.
GUNN
I checked the server. A message went out. Code 7, right before the building emptied.
ANGEL
What's a code 7, Eve?
EVE
I don't know.
(Cordelia glares at her)
Seriously.
CORDELIA
OK, this is getting us nowhere. Angel, torture her.
ANGEL
(confused)
What?
EVE
(panicked)
What?
CORDELIA
You heard me. Building clearing out means we don't have a lot of time. Have at it.
ANGEL
I can't just... torture her.
FRED
He's right, Cordy. If we sink to their level—
From out of nowhere, Harmony tackles Eve, knocking her into Angel's desk with a primal grunt.
ANGEL
Harmony!
HARMONY
(stands up, grabbing Eve by the neck)
(to Angel) Is this OK?
(shrugs)
I mean, I am evil, technically. I don't mind torturing her for the team.
ANGEL
Yeah. OK.
HARMONY
(punches Eve in the face)
Come on, you hussy!
(backhands Eve across the face)
Spill it!
EVE
OK. OK. Stop. It's a fail-safe. They built a fail-safe—
Harmony punches Eve in the face again, harder this time.
ANGEL
(cocks his head, hands on his hips)
Harmony, she's talking.
HARMONY
She is? Already? Well, that sucks.
(lets go of Eve)
EVE
(panting)
Look, the senior partners were never certain they could keep you under their thumb, so they created a fail-safe. Housed it in the sub-levels of the building.
FRED
What kind of fail-safe?
EVE
I don't know what it is, exactly, but it's huge and alive... and specifically designed to destroy you.
ANGEL
How can I stop it?
EVE
The only way to shut it down's in the chamber itself.
FRED
Well, if that's true, then who activated it in the first place?
GUNN
You were with us when the building cleared out.
WESLEY
Had to be someone else. Someone with the ability to slip past Wolfram & Hart security systems.
LORNE
Like our magically tattooed faux Doyle.
ANGEL
Spike, I don't wanna go in blind. Anything else you know about this guy?
SPIKE
Not much. Average size. Dressed like an urban cowboy. Got his hand chopped off once.
CORDELIA
His hand?
WESLEY
He's back.
ANGEL
Lindsey.
FRED
Who?
ANGEL
Lock the building down, make sure he can't get out. Don't trust security systems. He won't show up because of those tattoos of his.
WESLEY
There could be a way to fix that. I'll need some help.
LORNE
My dance card's free.
FRED
(to Angel) Who is Lindsey?
CORDELIA
A lawyer. Wolfram & Hart's former golden boy, till he ran off to go find himself.
ANGEL
Yeah, he should've stayed lost. Harmony, guard eve. She moves, eat her.
HARMONY
(grins widely)
Really? Thanks.
(looks at Eve like she's lunch)
FRED
Angel, you're not going down there alone.
ANGEL
The fail-safe's meant for me. I'm not gonna risk anybody I care about.
SPIKE
I'll go.
ANGEL
(too quick)
OK.
(to Fred and Cordelia) Be ready to evacuate. If this thing gets past me, get the hell out of the building.
(walks to the door)
CORDELIA
Past us.
(walks to Angel's desk)
ANGEL
No, no. Cordy—
CORDELIA
(grabs a samurai sword off the wall behind Angel's desk)
Yeah, save it, Angel. You can order me around all you want, but I know my rights.
(unsheathes the sword)
And I wanna see a lawyer.
Cut to:
17 INT. BASEMENT AT WOLFRAM & HART - DAY
Spike, Cordelia, and Angel walk down the basement steps into the room guarded by a net of green laser beams.
SPIKE
(looking at the laser beams)
What the bloody hell is this?
ANGEL
Let's find out.
Angel walks into the laser net, triggering an alarm. Doors unlock, and people walk out of closets poised for a fight.
ANGEL
Zombies. Oh, swell.
Angel, Cordelia, and Spike all join in fighting off the zombies.
ANGEL
(yelling in frustration)
We don't have time for this.
SPIKE
Go on. I'll hold them back.
(Angel and Cordy run past the zombies, leaving Spike alone with them)
Come on, lads. No need to be gentle. We're all dead men here.
Spike fights the zombies.
Cut to:
18 INT. BASEMENT CHAMBER - DAY
Lindsey walks down the stairs from the control panel and pats the side of the tank as it rises from the floor.
LINDSEY
(looking at the tank)
Bye-bye, Angel.
ANGEL
Hello, Lindsey.
LINDSEY
(turns to see Angel and Cordelia standing behind him; grins)
And the hero arrives right on schedule. And with a date.
CORDELIA
Yeah. Dinner and a show... and you're both.
Angel walks slowly toward Lindsey with his arms crossed.
LINDSEY
Is this the part where I get all weak in the knees? Promise I'll never do it again?
ANGEL
It's a little late for that, Doyle.
LINDSEY
(nods sarcastically)
There's always time for redemption. Isn't that your whole thing?
ANGEL
You had your chance. I guess some people, they just never change.
Angel starts to backhand Lindsey, but Lindsey catches his hand mid-thrust and punches Angel in the ribs before throwing him hard across the room. Angel rolls across the floor into the opposite wall.
LINDSEY
(saunters toward Angel)
I did.
Fade to black.
ACT IV:
19 INT. BASEMENT CHAMBER - DAY
Resume. Lindsey has just shown superhuman strength by throwing Angel across the room. Angel's still on the floor trying to sit up.
LINDSEY
You just gonna lay there and bleed?
ANGEL
Cordy, get out of here.
LINDSEY
No.
(points to the door behind Cordelia, causing it to close behind her)
Hang out.
(smirks)
This won't take long.
(pulls his pocketknife out of his back pocket)
CORDELIA
Angel!
(throws Angel the samurai sword)
LINDSEY
(looks at Angel's sword, then at his own small pocket knife)
Oh. Well, it's not the size that matters, big guy.
(transforms the pocketknife into a hefty sword, grins)
It's how you use it.
ANGEL
Shut it down.
LINDSEY
Say please.
ANGEL
I wasn't talking to you.
CORDELIA
Oh, right. On it.
(runs toward the stairs to the control panel)
ANGEL
So go and get yourself a little mojo? Should never have come back, Lindsey.
LINDSEY
What can I say? I missed you.
Angel swings first, and he and Lindsey engage in sword fighting while Cordelia examines the control panel.
CORDELIA
(looks at all the lights and buttons on the control panel)
OK, let's try the blue one.
(presses a button, but gets shocked)
Ow! OK, not the blue one.
Lindsey pins Angel against the wall during their sword fight, but Angel pushes him away. They continue to fight. Lindsey punches Angel then backflips high into the air, landing on his feet on top of the holding tank.
LINDSEY
Little something I picked up in Nepal.
(grins)
You like it?
ANGEL
They sell that crap at the airport.
Angel leaps into the air nearly effortlessly, landing on the holding tank. He and Lindsey resume their sword fighting. Lindsey kicks Angel in the knee, causing Angel to scream in pain and recoil.
LINDSEY
(laughing)
You know, all my carefully laid out plans, my designs, when you get right down to it, that was pretty sweet, too, huh?
(grins)
Reason enough for me to come back. You, me... fight to the death...
(points his sword at Angel)
yours.
ANGEL
I've seen your tough act before, squirt. First time we ever met, you put on a show.
(they resume sword fighting)
Huffing and puffing, telling me I couldn't lay a hand on your scumbag client.
LINDSEY
So you kicked him out a window.
ANGEL
(cocks his head to the side)
Good times.
LINDSEY
It was a defining moment.
(the vents around the holding tank let out steam as the tank starts rumbling under their feet)
Kind of like this one.
CORDELIA
(looks over toward the tank seeing something scary swimming around in it)
Oh, crap.
Cut to:
20 INT. WESLEY'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Wesley is reading from a scroll as Gunn paces behind him and Fred gathers ingredients. Lorne is pacing in the background with a stick of smoking incense.
WESLEY
Woodbury lichen.
FRED
Check.
WESLEY
Where's our danbeetle skeleton?
GUNN
Already in the bowl. Man, I should be down there. Got enough Betty Crockers. I should be throwing some hurt.
WESLEY
(reading)
"Sprinkle ingredients with the arterial blood of an unclean."
(looks at Lorne)
A demon.
LORNE
We're unclean? Like you're so April fre—
(realizes Wesley's looking at him)
You sure that thing said arterial blood?
WESLEY
Sorry.
LORNE
Why don't they ever need the urine of an unclean? I've got plenty of unclean urine.
(Gunn pulls out a dagger; Lorne lets out a nervous chuckle)
Look. Uh... I think I'm making some right now.
(looks down)
Cut to:
21 INT. BASEMENT CHAMBER - NIGHT
Angel and Lindsey continue their sword fight on top of the holding tank where some monster is ready to come out if Cordelia can't use the control panel to stop it. Angel punches Lindsey in the face. When Lindsey stands up, his shirt is hanging open, unbuttoned, and Angel notices Lindsey's tattoos.
ANGEL
That must have stung.
LINDSEY
(smirks)
Worse than when you cut off my hand.
The sword fighting continues, but Lindsey takes Angel's sword. Angel kicks Lindsey's sword into the air and leaps onto the balcony to catch it. Lindsey leaps onto the balcony with the samurai sword to continue the fight. The sword fighting continues, and Angel kicks Lindsey in the chest, knocking him back a couple of feet. Lindsey lunges toward Angel, stabbing him through the heart with the sword.
CORDELIA
Angel!
Lindsey kicks Angel off the balcony, across the room. Angel lands on top on the holding tank. Lindsey leaps down to stand over him.
LINDSEY
(walking around Angel, mocking)
Who is this? Who is this?
(takes off his shirt)
I came to fight the vampire with a soul. Guess you shouldn't have sold it, huh? Look at you, from champion to pathetic corporate puppet in just a few months. You used to have fire in your heart.
(squats down to Angel's level)
Now all you got in there is that big honkin' sword. How's that feel, champ?
ANGEL
Could be worse...
(pulls the sword out of his chest)
if it had been made out of wood, you dumbass.
(throws the sword away, stands)
Angel and Lindsey engage in hand-to-hand combat now, fighting with punches, headbutts, and kicks.
CORDELIA
(to the control panel)
Now you are gonna give it up.
Cordelia presses buttons on the control panel until the tube emerges. The covering iris widens to reveal the crystal inside, and when Cordelia takes the crystal out, the system makes a "powering down" noise.
CORDELIA
(admiring the crystal)
Like that was so hard.
LINDSEY
(sees Cordelia with the crystal)
No!
Cordelia grins widely at Lindsey. The tank sinks back into its underground holding spot, keeping the animal inside it contained for now. Lindsey's power seems to have faded now as well, since he's only able to throw weak punches at Angel, and Angel doesn't even feel the need to fight back.
ANGEL
All those tattoos, all those new tricks you've learned...
(punches Lindsey in the stomach, knocking him to the ground)
just don't matter.
(Lindsey tries to stand)
Doesn't matter what you try.
(Angel punches Lindsey down)
Doesn't matter where I am or how badass you think you've become.
(Lindsey gets to his knees, but Angel punches him in the face again)
'Cause you know what?
(grabs Lindsey by the neck, holding him face-to-face)
I'm Angel.
(throws Lindsey across the room; Lindsey lands against the wall)
I beat the bad guys.
Lindsey chuckles as he struggles to get to his feet.
CORDELIA
(stands beside Angel)
You OK?
ANGEL
I've been worse.
LINDSEY
(standing, staggering out of breath in front of Angel)
So what now, huh? Think you got it in you to kill me?
ANGEL
I really don't think I have to.
CORDELIA
(with mock concern)
Sweetie, your epidermis is showing.
Lindsey looks at his tattoos. They float up off of his skin and vanish into thin air, leaving him unmarked and thus unprotected.
Cut to:
22 INT. WESLEY'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Fred sprinkles ingredients as Wesley reads from the magical scroll.
WESLEY
Fabula mundi, sanguis incesti, vincula solve, invisa revela.
(gasps)
I think I can feel it working.
(Fred looks at Wesley, admiring his work; Wesley looks over at Fred)
Cut to:
23 INT. BASEMENT CHAMBER - NIGHT
Lindsey watches as the last of the tattoos vanishes from his skin.
LINDSEY
Damn!
There's a flashing light and whirlwind appearing above them.
ANGEL
I think the senior partners would like a word.
Lindsey looks up to see a portal is forming in the air above him.
LINDSEY
(looks at Angel)
You don't think they're angry, do you?
(chuckles nervously)
Lindsey is sucked into the air into the portal, which closes behind him.
Cut to:
24 INT. LOBBY OF WOLFRAM & HART - NIGHT
A pouting Eve walks onto the elevator with the whole gang standing behind her to make sure she leaves.
CORDELIA
It's really been a pleasure. Let's never keep in touch.
ANGEL
It's a new game, Eve. If I were you, I'd start thinking strategy.
EVE
And here I am thinking revenge.
ANGEL
And what do you imagine the senior partners are thinking?
The elevator doors close on Eve.
LORNE
Well, I'm thinking seabreeze, compadres. I gave up a lot of blood for this gig.
HARMONY
And I didn't get any. I kept begging Eve to run, but...
(shakes her head)
SPIKE
Well, I've been prancing around thinking I had a destiny. Love to drown my embarrassment in a few pints.
FRED
We should all go get a drink. We haven't done that in...ever.
GUNN
I'm in. Cat and Fiddle?
(presses the elevator call button)
WESLEY
Yeah.
(to Angel) Unless, of course, you're busy packing.
ANGEL
A drink sounds good. I'll go get my coat.
The elevator bell sounds just as Angel walks toward his office. The elevator doors open and the others walk onto it, minus Cordelia.
CORDELIA
You guys go ahead. We'll catch up. Oh, and Wesley? You still work the best mojo in town.
(smiles admiringly)
LORNE
(points incredulously to Wesley)
I bleed from the neck, he gets the props.
(chuckles)
The elevator door closes.
Cut to:
25 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Cordelia walks into Angel's office as he puts on his blazer.
CORDELIA
So...
(walks up to Angel)
you feel good?
ANGEL
I do. I just...I kind of feel bad about it.
CORDELIA
My God, you are a piece of work.
ANGEL
I just don't feel like I deserve...
(shrugs)
I mean, all I did was beat up a tiny Texan. It's not like I helped anyone.
(sits on the chair arm)
CORDELIA
Sure you did.
ANGEL
Who?
CORDELIA
Boy, I really do fall for the dumb ones. You know how you're always trying to save, oh, every single person in the world? Did it ever occur to you you were one of them?
ANGEL
No, it never did.
CORDELIA
Well, you made the list, gorgeous. And you needed some help.
ANGEL
And you were the one that helped me.
CORDELIA
I did my part.
(sits beside Angel)
ANGEL
Lindsey wasted a lot of energy trying to make me doubt myself. I know it's not even close to over, but I do feel like I can do this. Wolfram & Hart, whatever's coming, I feel like we can beat it.
CORDELIA
I know.
ANGEL
You do?
CORDELIA
I always did. I... I just needed you to know it, too.
ANGEL
So all that stuff about the deals with the devil...
CORDELIA
(nods)
Was God's honest truth.
(looks at Angel)
But you're bigger than that. You'll win this in the end.
(stands, steps away)
I, uh... just wish I could be there to see it.
ANGEL
What do you mean? You're not...
CORDELIA
(turns to face Angel)
I can't stay. This isn't me anymore. You can say goodbye to the gang for me, explain everything once you understand.
ANGEL
That's gonna be never.
(walks toward her)
I need you here.
CORDELIA
(with tears in her eyes)
Don't make it hard, Angel. I'm just on a different road... and this is my off-ramp. The Powers That Be owed me one, and I didn't waste it. I got my guy back on track.
ANGEL
Cordy, there's just—
CORDELIA
(touches his face)
We take what we can get, champ, and we do our best with it. I'll be seeing you.
(smiles through her tears, turns to walk out of the office)
(stops, turns around, and walks quickly up to Angel)
Oh, what the hell. One for the road?
(kisses Angel, but moments later, the telephone rings)
ANGEL
You know, um... I don't...I don't need to get that.
CORDELIA
(tenderly straightens his tie)
That you have to get.
(Angel walks toward the phone)
Oh... and you're welcome.
ANGEL
(answers the phone)
Hello. Yes, I know. She's... but that's impossible. She's standing right—
(turns to look for Cordelia, but she's not there; he becomes visibly upset)
I'm sorry. Yeah.
(choking up)
When did she die? Did she, um... she never did wake up? I see.
(hangs up, looks out to where Cordelia was standing moments earlier)
Thank you.
Fade to black.
5x12— Episode #100 "You're Welcome"
Written by David Fury
Directed by David Fury
Originally aired February 4, 2004
PROLOGUE:
1 INT. BASEMENT APARTMENT - NIGHT
A dark room is lit only by red and white candles arranged on a table in a circle. A loud knocking on the door causes the tables to shake as it's beaten down from the outside. The door handle rattles as it falls to the floor. Angel, Fred, Wes, and Gunn are in the doorway with flashlights. They walk in and look around.
FRED
(holding a glowing red handheld device and reading from its display screen)
He's been here. Picking up loads of trace signatures.
(walking forward without looking up from the device)
WESLEY
Fred.
(shines his flashlight on the floor)
FRED
(continues moving forward without looking up)
Hair follicles, enzymes, and something... blood... but it's not his, it's—
(looks up from the display to see several bloody nuns on the floor with their throats slit)
Oh, God.
WESLEY
I think God is out at the moment.
GUNN
Why would Greenway do this? It was just a stupid racketeering charge. I told him we'd get him off with probation, so long as he shut down operations.
Wesley shines his flashlight around the room, inspecting the scene.
ANGEL
He's a Wolfram & Hart client. Our client. Oh, and he's evil. What are the odds?
FRED
What do we do now?
ANGEL
Now? I find Greenway, and I kill every inch of him.
WESLEY
(walks forward to investigate the altar)
You won't. 5 holy women. This wasn't random. It's ritual. He's jumped dimensions.
ANGEL
What?
WESLEY
Also, not shockingly, our client practices black arts. He's escaped through a pan-dimensional doorway, disappeared into any one of infinite universes.
ANGEL
Fred?
FRED
My equipment's not calibrated to track anything out of this dimension. Even if such a thing is possible, it would take months or maybe years—
ANGEL
(throws up his hands)
That's it.
FRED
But probably months, or maybe weeks if I really push—
ANGEL
(backs up toward the door)
I can't do this anymore.
GUNN
Do what?
ANGEL
Any of this. Living with it. Running Wolfram & Hart.
(throws up his hands)
I quit.
(exits)
Cut to:
2 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - NIGHT
The camera proceeds down a long hospital corridor and turns to enter a room.
Images of the symbols painted on the door of Eve's apartment.
Images of the symbols tattooed on Doyle's chest.
Images of Angel doubling over in pain.
Inside the hospital room, Cordelia gasps as she is thrust into consciousness by a vision.
Fade to black.
Opening credits.
ACT I:
3 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - DAY
Angel's sitting on the edge of his desk talking to Fred, Gunn, Wesley, and Lorne.
ANGEL
There's nothing more to discuss. I'm resigning.
LORNE
Gee, it seems like a ripe topic for discussion to me.
WESLEY
What happened last night was tragic. It's a terrible setback, but—
ANGEL
(stands and walks around to his desk chair)
Setback, Wes? It's status quo. Evil wins, 'cause instead of just wiping it out, we negotiate with it. Or worse...for it.
FRED
Angel, we're doing the best we can.
ANGEL
It's not that you guys aren't doing your jobs. It's that we shouldn't be doing these jobs in the first place... or I shouldn't.
GUNN
I'd say we've all had a bellyful. Any thought about what would happen to us if we tried to say bye-bye? The ramifications, I mean. You think the senior partners are just gonna let us breeze on out the front door?
FRED
You're saying we're trapped here?
GUNN
I'm saying we knew what we were getting into when we signed up for this gig. Let's not start pretending that this was some lease with an option to buy.
ANGEL
Gunn, you really think they won't let us out? Or is it that you just don't want to leave?
GUNN
(looks to his side, then looks at Angel, raising his eyebrows)
OK. Maybe I don't. It's 'cause I believe in what we're doing. We made the right call.
ANGEL
And I'm sure that legal brain upgrade they gave you has got nothing to do with—
GUNN
We all got something out of this.
The telephone rings. Angel picks up the phone.
ANGEL
Yeah. It's Angel.
(sits forward)
What?
WESLEY
What is it?
ANGEL
(tilts phone receiver away from his mouth to answer Wesley)
It's Cordelia.
Cut to:
4 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY
Angel and Wesley walk into Cordelia's hospital room and see a woman lying on the bed under a pink blanket. Her face is obscured by a privacy curtain, but they can see she's still and attached to the hospital machinery. Wesley and Angel hesitate to approach her.
ANGEL
Cordelia?
CORDELIA
(walks out from the bathroom in a hospital gown)
Yeah.
(walks around the girl's bed)
That chick's in rough shape.
(draws the privacy curtain closed)
You'd think they'd give miss one-foot-in-the- grave a private room... which brings me to, hey... couldn't you stick me someplace that smells a little less like ammonia-soaked death?
ANGEL
(hugs Cordy for a long time)
Cordy.
CORDELIA
Yeah. It's me.
(Angel steps back so Wesley can hug her; Cordy laughs)
WESLEY
(smiling, giddy)
It's extraordinary. You're— you look... I don't want to say really hot—
CORDELIA
Oh, yes, you do.
(touches her shoulders and smiles heavenward)
I'm a vision of hotliness, and how weird is that?
(laughs)
Mystical comas. You know, if you can stand the horror of a higher power hijacking your mind and body so that it can give birth to itself, I really recommend 'em.
ANGEL
You remember?
CORDELIA
Last year? Yeah. I remember everything... pretty much. At least until I slipped into slumberland. Maternal instincts aside, I hope you kicked its ass for me.
(Angel says nothing but shoots an awkward glance at Wesley, who doesn't react)
Is everybody all right?
ANGEL
Yeah. Uh...great. We're all—
WESLEY
(smiling)
Yes. Super.
ANGEL
(nods)
Super. Yes. Super. Hey, why don't we get you out of here?
CORDELIA
Ooh! I love that plan. I hope you brought me some clothes, 'cause...
(looks at her hospital gown, then shakes her head)
damn.
ANGEL
(stammering)
Oh, well, we—
WESLEY
We could stop and buy some.
CORDELIA
(squealing and clapping cheerfully)
Ooh! Great! Shopping! I love that idea, 'cause, you know, I'm not so ready to go back to the hotel yet.
(walks toward the doorway)
ANGEL
(Angel and Wesley look at each other and smile)
Not a problem.
Cut to:
5 INT. LOBBY OF WOLFRAM & HART - DAY
The elevator doors open, and Angel and Wesley step out, but Cordelia doesn't follow.
CORDELIA
(shrugs)
I can't.
ANGEL
It's OK.
(Cordelia sighs, steps off the elevator into the lobby, and looks around skeptically)
See? It's just an office. Going about its day. Nothing scary popping out at you. Just regular people—
Cordelia gasps as she turns and sees Sebassis's pale, emaciated, horned slave looking at her as he's led through the lobby on a chain.
LAWYER
(talking to one of Sebassis's cronies)
Yeah, I found the scamp hiding in one of the copiers, you know? Living on nothing but toner fluid. Can you beat that? The slave, I mean. I mean, I assume the Archduke's gonna beat him and all that.
ANGEL
(turns to Cordelia, panicked; steps between her and the slave)
That's—ha—nothing. Hey, do you wanna see my office?
CORDELIA
(nervously, watching the slave be led away)
Yeah.
Cut to:
6 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - DAY
Angel leads Cordelia into his office.
CORDELIA
Lorne!
LORNE
Are you huggable?
(hugs Cordelia)
CORDELIA
It is so good to see—
(looks over Lorne's shoulder and sees Gunn)
Oh, my God. Gunn? You have hair.
GUNN
Oh—ha—yeah. What did you think? I was prematurely bald?
(Cordelia says nothing)
I wasn't.
(hugs Cordelia)
Cordelia laughs. Fred taps Gunn on the shoulder. He steps back so Fred can hug Cordelia too.
CORDELIA
Oh! Hey, Fred.
FRED
Hi, Cordy.
(they hug)
CORDELIA
(laughs)
So, where's Connor?
GUNN
(casually)
Who?
CORDELIA
What do you mean, who? Connor. Isn't he—
(to Angel) Angel, where's your s—
HARMONY
(interrupts with a teenage girl's shriek)
Aah! Oh, my God!
(runs up to Cordy and hugs her tightly around the neck)
I can't believe you're here!
(hugs Cordy again)
CORDELIA
(annoyed)
Likewise. Especially since the last time I saw you, you tried to kill me.
ANGEL
Um, Harmony, she's— actually, she... she's my secretary.
CORDELIA
Oh. Well, things just keep getting better and better.
HARMONY
(smiling excitedly)
I know. You and me together again. So, how was the coma?
Cordelia rolls her eyes.
ANGEL
Uh, Harmony, I think Cordy's had enough excitement for the day. Why don't you— Why doesn't everybody get back to work?
GUNN
(waves)
Great to see you.
(exits)
FRED
Bye.
(exits)
HARMONY
(whispers)
We'll talk later.
(exits)
LORNE
(hovering at the door)
Hey, listen, crumbcake, when you're ready to splash back into that acting pool, just say the word. I'll have you lunching with Colin Farrell like that.
(exits)
CORDELIA
Who's Colin Farrell?
ANGEL
Cordy, I know there's a lot to take in, a lot of changes, but I promise you... things here are working out.
CORDELIA
Really?
ANGEL
Well, yeah. With these resources, there's nothing we can't do, no one we can't save.
(sits on the back of a chair)
CORDELIA
Except maybe yourself.
ANGEL
What?
CORDELIA
(walks toward Angel)
I had a vision... from the you-know-what that be. That's what woke me up.
(pacing)
And you know something? When higher powers send you coma visions, you'd better pay attention.
ANGEL
What did you see?
CORDELIA
You. In trouble.
(pacing)
Also, these weird symbols. Glyphs, I guess. On a wall... and on flesh. A tattoo, and—
(stops pacing; stares at Angel)
There's a woman behind you.
ANGEL
You saw a woman in your vision?
CORDELIA
No, lunkhead, right now.
(motions with her eyes)
Behind you.
Angel turns to look behind him to see Eve stepping out of his personal elevator.
EVE
(motions to the elevator as its doors close behind her)
You weren't home upstairs. Didn't think you'd mind me using your private elevator.
ANGEL
Eve, I mind you breathing. Get out.
EVE
(walks around behind his desk toward Cordelia)
Yeah, sure. Except I'm here to convey the partners' concern. A little issue of you letting a client skip out of our dimension. Dead nuns we can deal with, but the firm's out 10 million in bail costs.
(to Cordelia) I ask you, is that any way to run a business?
(to Angel) Who's your friend, Angel?
CORDELIA
(glaring at Eve)
I'm Cordelia Chase.
EVE
Oh. My name is—
CORDELIA
(cocks her head)
I didn't ask.
(walks toward Angel; stands beside him)
EVE
Right. Cordelia Chase. Oh, yeah. Angel talked a lot about you...at first.
ANGEL
I thought I told security not to let you in this building.
EVE
Sweetie, I'm liaison to the senior partners. You honestly think you have any control over my comings and goings?
(sits on the couch)
Well, maybe not my goings, but you did have a way with my comings at the Halloween party.
CORDELIA
(rolls her eyes)
So you two are groin buddies?
(looks at Angel)
And I thought Darla was rock bottom.
ANGEL
We're not.
(sighs)
Just...once. There were special circumstances. Lorne told us to, but mystically.
EVE
(stands)
We'll talk business later, big guy. I'll let you two catch up.
(walks to the door)
ANGEL
(following her out of the office)
And I'll let you walk out of here with your head still attached to your body.
(to Harmony) Harmony, I want security keeping tabs on eve while she's in the building.
HARMONY
Got it, bossy.
CORDELIA
(standing in Angel's doorway)
That's the kind of person you do business with now? Angel, do you realize what's happening? You've made a deal with the devil.
ANGEL
(shrugs, shakes her off)
Oh, come on, Cordy. You're being a little overdramatic. It's not that, uh—
A red-skinned demon with black hair, horns, and a goatee walks up to Angel wearing a suit and holding a briefcase.
DEVIL
I gotta go.
(offers his hand to Angel)
Everything's in place. They'll draw up the paperwork.
ANGEL
(shakes the Devil's hand)
Good. Great.
DEVIL
(walks toward the elevator, but turns back to Angel)
Racquetball Thursday?
ANGEL
(nods)
OK, then.
CORDELIA
(rolls her eyes, sighs)
Ohh.
(walks back into Angel's office)
ANGEL
What did I do?
Cut to:
7 INT. SPIKE'S APARTMENT - DAY
Spike's sitting on his couch playing a video game in the dark.
SPIKE
You made the biggest mistake of your life, and I'm gonna make you pay. Oh, yeah.
(punches video game control buttons)
Feel my wrath, gorilla throwing barrels.
(his game makes a losing sound)
Bloody hell.
(sighs, continues pressing buttons)
Really should knock on a bloke's door... especially one that's got no qualms about killing trespassers.
Widen the camera angle to reveal Doyle is standing in Spike's doorway.
DOYLE
(walks in)
Come on.
(sits on the couch beside Spike)
Is that any way to talk to your benefactor? Just a little concerned about you. You haven't been out in the field lately.
SPIKE
In case you haven't been keeping up with the sports pages, I got my bloody hands hacked off by that deranged slayer you sent me after.
(points at Doyle)
DOYLE
Yeah, I'm sorry about that, but, hey, your good old buddies at Wolfram & Hart managed to reattach them just fine, huh? You can sit around here and play video games.
SPIKE
Rehab, mate. Working out the digits.
(wiggles his fingers in Doyle's face; puts down controls; walks toward refrigerator)
You got no idea how rotten this feels.
DOYLE
(laughs)
Amazingly enough, I do. Yeah. Got my hand cut off a few years back. Line of duty. So believe me when I tell you, I can feel your pain.
TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: Since "Doyle" looks like Lindsey, and now he claims to have the same injury that Lindsey had, I will henceforth refer to him as "Lindsey" in the transcript, despite the fact he may still claim to be Doyle.
SPIKE
(grabs a beer from the refrigerator)
Well, half of it, anyway. I'll give you that.
(opens the beer)
"DOYLE" / LINDSEY
Don't forget you got a job to do.
(Spike sits back on the couch and sips his beer)
The powers that be are counting on their champion.
(Spike starts playing the game again)
So are all the other helpless people—
SPIKE
I don't need a pep talk, Doyle. I already plan on going out. You just get one of your visions to tell me when and where.
LINDSEY
That's what I like—
(cell phone rings)
That's what I like to hear.
(stands, walks a few feet away; talks on the cell phone)
Yeah.
EVE (O.S.)
We've got a big problem.
LINDSEY
Can this wait?
EVE
Kinda not. Cordelia Chase is awake.
LINDSEY
Really.
EVE
She's talking about some vision she had. Steering Angel right toward you.
SPIKE
(pressing the video game controls frantically)
Come on! You stupid plumber!
(throws the controls down and starts rattling the TV and game box)
LINDSEY
(to Eve) Well, now... I guess this calls for a change of plans.
Fade to black.
ACT II:
8 INT. ANGEL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Angel walks off of his private elevator into his apartment. From the other room, he hears Doyle (from Angel Season 1). Cordelia is sitting on the edge of the bed watching the tape of a promotional spot she and Doyle made in the early days of Angel Investigations.
On the video:
DOYLE
If you need help, "then look no further. Angel Investigations is the best. Our rats are low—"
CORDELIA (O.S.)
Rates.
DOYLE
It says rats.
"Our rates are low, but our standards are high. When the chips are down, and you're at the end of your rope, you need someone that you can count on, and that's what you'll find here, someone who will go all the way, who'll protect you no matter what. So don't lose hope."
CORDELIA
(pauses video)
Sorry. I was snooping. I found this.
ANGEL
No, it's—it's OK. I just... You couldn't sleep?
CORDELIA
Oh. No sleep for me. I slept enough for one lifetime.
ANGEL
(looks at the television and sits beside Cordelia)
Been a long while since I've seen that.
CORDELIA
The first soldier down.
ANGEL
(sighs)
Yeah.
CORDELIA
Doyle Pissed me off so righteously going out like that, but he knew. He knew what he had to do. Didn't compromise. Used his last breath to make sure you'd keep fighting. I get that now.
ANGEL
Cordy...there are reasons I agreed to take over Wolfram & Hart, reasons you don't understand.
CORDELIA
(stands, indignant)
I understand just fine.
(walks around the apartment, gesturing)
They seduced you with all their fancy facilities, manpower. They threw a whole bunch of money at you, plied you with all these expensive toys and penthouses with spectacular views, and—
(looks out his window, admiring the view)
really spectacular.
(to Angel) What was I saying?
ANGEL
I've been seduced.
CORDELIA
That's right, pal. They dazzled you with shiny objects and beautiful things and— There is no reason you could give me—
ANGEL
Connor.
CORDELIA
Where is Connor? Why did Gunn ask—
ANGEL
(walks into the living room)
They don't remember him. It's part of my agreement to take this job. The senior partners altered reality. They gave Connor a life, a real family, and a childhood. Something I could never give him. He's got no memories of us. And no one remembers him.
(sits on a chair arm)
Except me and you. And Eve, for some reason.
CORDELIA
So, not only did you strike a deal with your worst enemy to give up your son, you let them rape the memories of your friends who trust you?
ANGEL
He was about to kill you. And himself. He was so torn up. I didn't have any other way to stop him, any way to help him. Connor's happy now.
(stands)
And...we're doing fine here.
(paces)
I mean, we've done some great work here—
CORDELIA
Don't give me that, "everything's fine here" company line. I'm not buying it. Neither are you. And neither are the Powers That Be. Why do you think they woke me up, gave me that vision? They know you slipped the track, and they want me to help put you back on it.
ANGEL
You're wrong about the Powers. They're not in my corner anymore.
(rolls his eyes)
It looks like Spike is their new champion.
CORDELIA
Spike? Spike who?
ANGEL
Spike. He's got a soul now. And he saved the world. And he's out there on the streets. You know, helping the...helpless.
CORDELIA
OK, Spike's a hero, and you're C.E.O. of Hell, Incorporated.
(holds up her hands)
What freakin' bizarro world did I wake up in?
ANGEL
(sits, hangs his head)
I'm sorry.
CORDELIA
I naturally assumed you'd be lost without me, but this?
ANGEL
I am lost without you.
CORDELIA
You just forgot who you are.
ANGEL
Remind me.
CORDELIA
Uh, no. That's for you to figure out, bubba. I can tell you who you were. A guy who always fought his hardest for what was right, even when he couldn't remember why. Even when he was miserable, which was, let's face it, a not small portion of the time. He did right. And that gave him something. A light, a glimmer. And that's the guy I fell in—
(stops herself; looks down trying to rephrase)
That, um... the guy I knew.
(sits in a chair across from Angel)
I see him around here, then maybe I'll start believing.
ANGEL
Let me know if you do.
CORDELIA
Do you ever wonder... Do you ever think about if we'd met up that night and had a chance to—
ANGEL
All the time.
CORDELIA
(looks down)
Guess we missed our moment, huh?
ANGEL
Maybe we were meant to. Or maybe people like us just don't get to...have that.
CORDELIA
Angel, there are no people like us.
Cut to:
9 EXT. PATIO AT EVE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Eve and Lindsey are sitting together in a chaise lounge patio chair naked, wrapped in a blanket, under the open night sky. Eve is resting her head on his chest while he strokes her hair.
EVE
You're not worried at all?
LINDSEY
She's awake. That means the powers that be are getting nervous. Taking an interest. Higher stakes. That likes me fine. Not sitting at the $5 table anymore.
(kisses her forehead)
EVE
You know the house always wins.
LINDSEY
So the question becomes whose house are we in? The senior partners gave that Eurotrash vampire everything I've worked for. I couldn't let that slide. They didn't see me coming. Maybe they're getting too old for this.
EVE
(looks up at Lindsey)
It all comes back to Angel, doesn't it? He's still the center of your universe.
LINDSEY
No, baby.
(touches her neck)
You are.
(kisses her lips)
Cut to:
10 INT. WESLEY'S OFFICE - DAY
Cordelia is sitting at Wesley's desk reading through volumes of text. Wesley is pacing the room, also reading. The desk is covered with dozens of thick, old books.
CORDELIA
(stops reading, looks up)
Remember how I said, "Let's not have your department looking for those symbols I saw in my vision. Let's do this like we used to, you and me cracking the books"?
WESLEY
Yes.
CORDELIA
Well, that was dumb. What'd you ever listen to me for?
WESLEY
I don't know. I think I sort of missed this. You and me and the books,
(speaking in a "hip" manner)
kicking it old school, as they say.
(winces, shakes his head)
And I never will again.
CORDELIA
(chuckles)
Wes?
(stands and walks up to Wesley)
Last year, when that, um, higher...whatever took over my body, did those things. Nobody's talking about it.
(smiles nervously, looks at Wesley, concerned)
WESLEY
(sits, looks at Cordelia)
What's to say? We all understand it wasn't you.
CORDELIA
Do you?
WESLEY
You didn't kill Lilah.
CORDELIA
I know. Still... I'm sorry.
(sits on the edge of Wesley's desk)
I just wanted to tell you that before—
(catches a book that's about to fall)
Hey! That's them.
(shows Wesley the book, already opened to an appropriate page)
Those. The tats. Look.
(holds up a sketch pad where she drew the symbols from her vision to compare to the book)
WESLEY
Protection runes derived from the Enochian alphabet. The ones from your vision are symbols, some kind of concealment spell. "Clouds before the all-seeing eyes."
CORDELIA
Mmm. OK. This part I didn't miss. Cryptic poetry.
(sits at the desk)
WESLEY
They protect the bearer from being viewed remotely from higher powers, seers, mystics. Or, transposed to today, any means of modern surveillance.
CORDELIA
Somebody really wants to stay hidden.
Cut to:
11 INT. BASEMENT AT WOLFRAM & HART - DAY
Lindsey walks down a corridor in the basement of Wolfram & Hart. He stops at a door marked "Maintenance: Restricted Access", swipes a keycard in a reader to unlock it, and walks through the door, closing it behind him. Lindsey walks down a staircase and finds himself facing a net of green laser beams. He walks right through them without incident. Once past them, he looks up into the security camera and waves "hello".
Cut to the security office where the guards monitor numerous video screens from security cameras across the building. Lindsey doesn't show up on the monitor showing the basement room.
Lindsey continues walking.
A demon in a white lab coat is pressing buttons on a handheld electronic device when he's stabbed from behind. The demon falls to the ground with a grunt, blood oozing from his mouth, revealing Lindsey standing behind him. Lindsey takes out his pocket knife and cuts the cord holding a crystal around the demon's neck and takes the crystal. Lindsey kicks the demon off the platform he's standing on.
Cut to:
12 INT. HALLWAY AT WOLFRAM & HART - DAY
Cordelia is walking down the hallway.
CORDELIA
This place is like a rat maze.
(scoffs as a lawyer passes her in the hall)
Complete with rats.
(shrugs, seemingly lost; turns around to see Spike walking toward her)
Spike.
(smiles, laughs)
Well, well. I heard you weren't evil anymore, which kind of makes the hair silly.
(Spike changes into vampire facade)
Or nice?
(Spike walks purposefully toward Cordelia)
Aah! Aah!
(Spike grabs Cordelia and bites her neck; Cordy screams)
Aah!
Fade to black.
ACT III:
13 INT. HALLWAY AT WOLFRAM & HART - DAY
Spike steps back voluntarily from biting Cordelia's neck, but moments later, he's charged by Angel, who knocks him to the ground. Angel punches Spike in the face, and Spike responds with a kick to Angel's chest.
SPIKE
(puts Angel in a headlock)
You took me on and lost, remember, old man?
ANGEL
Touch Cordelia again...
(breaks free of Spike's grip, lifts Spike into the air, and throws Spike to the ground)
get ready for our very last rematch.
SPIKE
(getting to his feet)
She's evil, you gourmless tit.
CORDELIA
(holding her neck, indignant)
Excuse me? Who bit whom?
ANGEL
Did you call me a tit?
CORDELIA
I thought he had a soul.
SPIKE
(points at Cordelia)
(to Angel) I thought she didn't.
CORDELIA
I do.
SPIKE
So do I.
CORDELIA
Well, clearly, mine's better.
SPIKE
(steps toward Cordelia)
Look—
ANGEL
(grabs Spike by the lapels and throws his back into the wall)
I see fangs, I'm gonna play dentist.
CORDELIA
And you called this guy the big hero?
SPIKE
(to Angel) You called me a hero?
ANGEL
I didn't know you were eating people.
SPIKE
(headbutts Angel, sending them apart, both reeling and holding their foreheads in pain)
Ow! God. It was a taste test, you git. I needed to know if what my source said is true.
(to Cordelia) And, actually, well, you don't taste evil. Demons are more...astringent with a sort of oakie, really—
ANGEL
What source?
SPIKE
I've got a guy. Has an in with the powers that whatsit. Gets these visions.
(Angel and Cordelia look at each other)
ANGEL
Visions?
SPIKE
Yeah. Said Cordelia was taken over by some big bad. Came to destroy you all.
CORDELIA
(rolls her eyes)
His vision's a rerun.
ANGEL
The thing that possessed Cordy's long dead, Spike.
SPIKE
Well, looks like tattoo boy was wrong this time.
CORDELIA
Wait.
(raises her eyebrows)
Tattoos? What kind of tattoos?
SPIKE
I don't know. Symbols. Tribal-like.
ANGEL
This guy with the visions, did he have a name?
SPIKE
Called himself Doyle.
Angel and Cordelia freeze, staring incredulously at Spike. Meanwhile, down the hall, Eve is watching them talk, talking on her cell phone.
EVE
No, he didn't kill her. She's still alive.
(walks out of view)
Now they're talking. A lot.
LINDSEY
Hey, it was a long shot. Listen, babe, I'm almost there, all right? So get out of the building. Right now.
Eve hangs up the cell phone, and when she looks up, Angel and Cordelia are standing right in front of her, smiling knowingly.
ANGEL
Can we have a word with you, Eve?
EVE
Now's really not a good time.
CORDELIA
(grabs Eve by the ear)
Let's go, Lilah junior.
(escorts Eve into Angel's office)
Cut to:
14 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - DAY
Cordelia throws Eve into a chair. Eve's surrounded by Gunn, Angel, Cordelia, Lorne, Fred, and Wesley. Spike's sitting near the window.
ANGEL
We've got a problem, Eve.
EVE
Damn right, you do. When I tell the partners you assaulted me—
ANGEL
(pacing)
A couple weeks ago, a man approached Spike. Told him that the powers that be have some missions for him. Spike, brain trust that he is, went along with it.
SPIKE
(insulted)
Hey.
ANGEL
(standing in front of Eve now)
He's the one who told Spike to save me from the parasite. The parasite you put on me in the first place.
EVE
Not this again.
(starts to stand)
CORDELIA
(steps in front of Eve)
Get out of that chair and I will feed you those Manolo Blahniks.
(looks at Eve's shoes)
Which are stunning, by the way.
(smirks)
ANGEL
Seems to me like you and this guy are working together.
EVE
(sits)
Look, I don't know what you're talking about. But you can't keep me here. I have to leave.
ANGEL
But the thing that really, really pisses me off is that this guy seems to be going by the name of Doyle.
EVE
Doesn't ring a bell.
CORDELIA
(walks closer to Eve)
It does to me.
(yelling in Eve's face)
It rings a big fricking gong,
(pointing)
and I wanna know who has the nerve to be using that name.
ANGEL
I'm gonna give you one chance to tell me where he is.
EVE
Look, I don't know what—
HARMONY
(opens the door, walks in)
Excuse me, boss?
ANGEL
Not now, Harmony.
HARMONY
OK, but do I get the afternoon off, too?
ANGEL
What are you talking about?
HARMONY
Everybody's gone. The whole building cleared out a few minutes ago.
ANGEL
What's going on, Eve?
Cut to:
15 INT. BASEMENT CHAMBER - DAY
Lindsey has entered a futuristic-looking round chamber with blue fluorescent lights and white walls. At the center is a round submerged underground holding tank and attached to it are some computerized and mechanical controls. Lindsey triggers the lights to come on and the control panel to light up. A tube has come up out of the panel, and Lindsey removes the demon's crystal from his pocket to place it inside the tube, where it's a perfect fit. An iris closes over the crystal, closing the crystal inside the tube. The tube recesses into the panel, and a timer starts increasing in seconds. Steam vents from the center of the room, and the bars that held the underground tank submerged retract.
LINDSEY
Wakey, wakey.
Cut to:
16 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - DAY
Gunn comes back into Angel's office.
GUNN
I checked the server. A message went out. Code 7, right before the building emptied.
ANGEL
What's a code 7, Eve?
EVE
I don't know.
(Cordelia glares at her)
Seriously.
CORDELIA
OK, this is getting us nowhere. Angel, torture her.
ANGEL
(confused)
What?
EVE
(panicked)
What?
CORDELIA
You heard me. Building clearing out means we don't have a lot of time. Have at it.
ANGEL
I can't just... torture her.
FRED
He's right, Cordy. If we sink to their level—
From out of nowhere, Harmony tackles Eve, knocking her into Angel's desk with a primal grunt.
ANGEL
Harmony!
HARMONY
(stands up, grabbing Eve by the neck)
(to Angel) Is this OK?
(shrugs)
I mean, I am evil, technically. I don't mind torturing her for the team.
ANGEL
Yeah. OK.
HARMONY
(punches Eve in the face)
Come on, you hussy!
(backhands Eve across the face)
Spill it!
EVE
OK. OK. Stop. It's a fail-safe. They built a fail-safe—
Harmony punches Eve in the face again, harder this time.
ANGEL
(cocks his head, hands on his hips)
Harmony, she's talking.
HARMONY
She is? Already? Well, that sucks.
(lets go of Eve)
EVE
(panting)
Look, the senior partners were never certain they could keep you under their thumb, so they created a fail-safe. Housed it in the sub-levels of the building.
FRED
What kind of fail-safe?
EVE
I don't know what it is, exactly, but it's huge and alive... and specifically designed to destroy you.
ANGEL
How can I stop it?
EVE
The only way to shut it down's in the chamber itself.
FRED
Well, if that's true, then who activated it in the first place?
GUNN
You were with us when the building cleared out.
WESLEY
Had to be someone else. Someone with the ability to slip past Wolfram & Hart security systems.
LORNE
Like our magically tattooed faux Doyle.
ANGEL
Spike, I don't wanna go in blind. Anything else you know about this guy?
SPIKE
Not much. Average size. Dressed like an urban cowboy. Got his hand chopped off once.
CORDELIA
His hand?
WESLEY
He's back.
ANGEL
Lindsey.
FRED
Who?
ANGEL
Lock the building down, make sure he can't get out. Don't trust security systems. He won't show up because of those tattoos of his.
WESLEY
There could be a way to fix that. I'll need some help.
LORNE
My dance card's free.
FRED
(to Angel) Who is Lindsey?
CORDELIA
A lawyer. Wolfram & Hart's former golden boy, till he ran off to go find himself.
ANGEL
Yeah, he should've stayed lost. Harmony, guard eve. She moves, eat her.
HARMONY
(grins widely)
Really? Thanks.
(looks at Eve like she's lunch)
FRED
Angel, you're not going down there alone.
ANGEL
The fail-safe's meant for me. I'm not gonna risk anybody I care about.
SPIKE
I'll go.
ANGEL
(too quick)
OK.
(to Fred and Cordelia) Be ready to evacuate. If this thing gets past me, get the hell out of the building.
(walks to the door)
CORDELIA
Past us.
(walks to Angel's desk)
ANGEL
No, no. Cordy—
CORDELIA
(grabs a samurai sword off the wall behind Angel's desk)
Yeah, save it, Angel. You can order me around all you want, but I know my rights.
(unsheathes the sword)
And I wanna see a lawyer.
Cut to:
17 INT. BASEMENT AT WOLFRAM & HART - DAY
Spike, Cordelia, and Angel walk down the basement steps into the room guarded by a net of green laser beams.
SPIKE
(looking at the laser beams)
What the bloody hell is this?
ANGEL
Let's find out.
Angel walks into the laser net, triggering an alarm. Doors unlock, and people walk out of closets poised for a fight.
ANGEL
Zombies. Oh, swell.
Angel, Cordelia, and Spike all join in fighting off the zombies.
ANGEL
(yelling in frustration)
We don't have time for this.
SPIKE
Go on. I'll hold them back.
(Angel and Cordy run past the zombies, leaving Spike alone with them)
Come on, lads. No need to be gentle. We're all dead men here.
Spike fights the zombies.
Cut to:
18 INT. BASEMENT CHAMBER - DAY
Lindsey walks down the stairs from the control panel and pats the side of the tank as it rises from the floor.
LINDSEY
(looking at the tank)
Bye-bye, Angel.
ANGEL
Hello, Lindsey.
LINDSEY
(turns to see Angel and Cordelia standing behind him; grins)
And the hero arrives right on schedule. And with a date.
CORDELIA
Yeah. Dinner and a show... and you're both.
Angel walks slowly toward Lindsey with his arms crossed.
LINDSEY
Is this the part where I get all weak in the knees? Promise I'll never do it again?
ANGEL
It's a little late for that, Doyle.
LINDSEY
(nods sarcastically)
There's always time for redemption. Isn't that your whole thing?
ANGEL
You had your chance. I guess some people, they just never change.
Angel starts to backhand Lindsey, but Lindsey catches his hand mid-thrust and punches Angel in the ribs before throwing him hard across the room. Angel rolls across the floor into the opposite wall.
LINDSEY
(saunters toward Angel)
I did.
Fade to black.
ACT IV:
19 INT. BASEMENT CHAMBER - DAY
Resume. Lindsey has just shown superhuman strength by throwing Angel across the room. Angel's still on the floor trying to sit up.
LINDSEY
You just gonna lay there and bleed?
ANGEL
Cordy, get out of here.
LINDSEY
No.
(points to the door behind Cordelia, causing it to close behind her)
Hang out.
(smirks)
This won't take long.
(pulls his pocketknife out of his back pocket)
CORDELIA
Angel!
(throws Angel the samurai sword)
LINDSEY
(looks at Angel's sword, then at his own small pocket knife)
Oh. Well, it's not the size that matters, big guy.
(transforms the pocketknife into a hefty sword, grins)
It's how you use it.
ANGEL
Shut it down.
LINDSEY
Say please.
ANGEL
I wasn't talking to you.
CORDELIA
Oh, right. On it.
(runs toward the stairs to the control panel)
ANGEL
So go and get yourself a little mojo? Should never have come back, Lindsey.
LINDSEY
What can I say? I missed you.
Angel swings first, and he and Lindsey engage in sword fighting while Cordelia examines the control panel.
CORDELIA
(looks at all the lights and buttons on the control panel)
OK, let's try the blue one.
(presses a button, but gets shocked)
Ow! OK, not the blue one.
Lindsey pins Angel against the wall during their sword fight, but Angel pushes him away. They continue to fight. Lindsey punches Angel then backflips high into the air, landing on his feet on top of the holding tank.
LINDSEY
Little something I picked up in Nepal.
(grins)
You like it?
ANGEL
They sell that crap at the airport.
Angel leaps into the air nearly effortlessly, landing on the holding tank. He and Lindsey resume their sword fighting. Lindsey kicks Angel in the knee, causing Angel to scream in pain and recoil.
LINDSEY
(laughing)
You know, all my carefully laid out plans, my designs, when you get right down to it, that was pretty sweet, too, huh?
(grins)
Reason enough for me to come back. You, me... fight to the death...
(points his sword at Angel)
yours.
ANGEL
I've seen your tough act before, squirt. First time we ever met, you put on a show.
(they resume sword fighting)
Huffing and puffing, telling me I couldn't lay a hand on your scumbag client.
LINDSEY
So you kicked him out a window.
ANGEL
(cocks his head to the side)
Good times.
LINDSEY
It was a defining moment.
(the vents around the holding tank let out steam as the tank starts rumbling under their feet)
Kind of like this one.
CORDELIA
(looks over toward the tank seeing something scary swimming around in it)
Oh, crap.
Cut to:
20 INT. WESLEY'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Wesley is reading from a scroll as Gunn paces behind him and Fred gathers ingredients. Lorne is pacing in the background with a stick of smoking incense.
WESLEY
Woodbury lichen.
FRED
Check.
WESLEY
Where's our danbeetle skeleton?
GUNN
Already in the bowl. Man, I should be down there. Got enough Betty Crockers. I should be throwing some hurt.
WESLEY
(reading)
"Sprinkle ingredients with the arterial blood of an unclean."
(looks at Lorne)
A demon.
LORNE
We're unclean? Like you're so April fre—
(realizes Wesley's looking at him)
You sure that thing said arterial blood?
WESLEY
Sorry.
LORNE
Why don't they ever need the urine of an unclean? I've got plenty of unclean urine.
(Gunn pulls out a dagger; Lorne lets out a nervous chuckle)
Look. Uh... I think I'm making some right now.
(looks down)
Cut to:
21 INT. BASEMENT CHAMBER - NIGHT
Angel and Lindsey continue their sword fight on top of the holding tank where some monster is ready to come out if Cordelia can't use the control panel to stop it. Angel punches Lindsey in the face. When Lindsey stands up, his shirt is hanging open, unbuttoned, and Angel notices Lindsey's tattoos.
ANGEL
That must have stung.
LINDSEY
(smirks)
Worse than when you cut off my hand.
The sword fighting continues, but Lindsey takes Angel's sword. Angel kicks Lindsey's sword into the air and leaps onto the balcony to catch it. Lindsey leaps onto the balcony with the samurai sword to continue the fight. The sword fighting continues, and Angel kicks Lindsey in the chest, knocking him back a couple of feet. Lindsey lunges toward Angel, stabbing him through the heart with the sword.
CORDELIA
Angel!
Lindsey kicks Angel off the balcony, across the room. Angel lands on top on the holding tank. Lindsey leaps down to stand over him.
LINDSEY
(walking around Angel, mocking)
Who is this? Who is this?
(takes off his shirt)
I came to fight the vampire with a soul. Guess you shouldn't have sold it, huh? Look at you, from champion to pathetic corporate puppet in just a few months. You used to have fire in your heart.
(squats down to Angel's level)
Now all you got in there is that big honkin' sword. How's that feel, champ?
ANGEL
Could be worse...
(pulls the sword out of his chest)
if it had been made out of wood, you dumbass.
(throws the sword away, stands)
Angel and Lindsey engage in hand-to-hand combat now, fighting with punches, headbutts, and kicks.
CORDELIA
(to the control panel)
Now you are gonna give it up.
Cordelia presses buttons on the control panel until the tube emerges. The covering iris widens to reveal the crystal inside, and when Cordelia takes the crystal out, the system makes a "powering down" noise.
CORDELIA
(admiring the crystal)
Like that was so hard.
LINDSEY
(sees Cordelia with the crystal)
No!
Cordelia grins widely at Lindsey. The tank sinks back into its underground holding spot, keeping the animal inside it contained for now. Lindsey's power seems to have faded now as well, since he's only able to throw weak punches at Angel, and Angel doesn't even feel the need to fight back.
ANGEL
All those tattoos, all those new tricks you've learned...
(punches Lindsey in the stomach, knocking him to the ground)
just don't matter.
(Lindsey tries to stand)
Doesn't matter what you try.
(Angel punches Lindsey down)
Doesn't matter where I am or how badass you think you've become.
(Lindsey gets to his knees, but Angel punches him in the face again)
'Cause you know what?
(grabs Lindsey by the neck, holding him face-to-face)
I'm Angel.
(throws Lindsey across the room; Lindsey lands against the wall)
I beat the bad guys.
Lindsey chuckles as he struggles to get to his feet.
CORDELIA
(stands beside Angel)
You OK?
ANGEL
I've been worse.
LINDSEY
(standing, staggering out of breath in front of Angel)
So what now, huh? Think you got it in you to kill me?
ANGEL
I really don't think I have to.
CORDELIA
(with mock concern)
Sweetie, your epidermis is showing.
Lindsey looks at his tattoos. They float up off of his skin and vanish into thin air, leaving him unmarked and thus unprotected.
Cut to:
22 INT. WESLEY'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Fred sprinkles ingredients as Wesley reads from the magical scroll.
WESLEY
Fabula mundi, sanguis incesti, vincula solve, invisa revela.
(gasps)
I think I can feel it working.
(Fred looks at Wesley, admiring his work; Wesley looks over at Fred)
Cut to:
23 INT. BASEMENT CHAMBER - NIGHT
Lindsey watches as the last of the tattoos vanishes from his skin.
LINDSEY
Damn!
There's a flashing light and whirlwind appearing above them.
ANGEL
I think the senior partners would like a word.
Lindsey looks up to see a portal is forming in the air above him.
LINDSEY
(looks at Angel)
You don't think they're angry, do you?
(chuckles nervously)
Lindsey is sucked into the air into the portal, which closes behind him.
Cut to:
24 INT. LOBBY OF WOLFRAM & HART - NIGHT
A pouting Eve walks onto the elevator with the whole gang standing behind her to make sure she leaves.
CORDELIA
It's really been a pleasure. Let's never keep in touch.
ANGEL
It's a new game, Eve. If I were you, I'd start thinking strategy.
EVE
And here I am thinking revenge.
ANGEL
And what do you imagine the senior partners are thinking?
The elevator doors close on Eve.
LORNE
Well, I'm thinking seabreeze, compadres. I gave up a lot of blood for this gig.
HARMONY
And I didn't get any. I kept begging Eve to run, but...
(shakes her head)
SPIKE
Well, I've been prancing around thinking I had a destiny. Love to drown my embarrassment in a few pints.
FRED
We should all go get a drink. We haven't done that in...ever.
GUNN
I'm in. Cat and Fiddle?
(presses the elevator call button)
WESLEY
Yeah.
(to Angel) Unless, of course, you're busy packing.
ANGEL
A drink sounds good. I'll go get my coat.
The elevator bell sounds just as Angel walks toward his office. The elevator doors open and the others walk onto it, minus Cordelia.
CORDELIA
You guys go ahead. We'll catch up. Oh, and Wesley? You still work the best mojo in town.
(smiles admiringly)
LORNE
(points incredulously to Wesley)
I bleed from the neck, he gets the props.
(chuckles)
The elevator door closes.
Cut to:
25 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Cordelia walks into Angel's office as he puts on his blazer.
CORDELIA
So...
(walks up to Angel)
you feel good?
ANGEL
I do. I just...I kind of feel bad about it.
CORDELIA
My God, you are a piece of work.
ANGEL
I just don't feel like I deserve...
(shrugs)
I mean, all I did was beat up a tiny Texan. It's not like I helped anyone.
(sits on the chair arm)
CORDELIA
Sure you did.
ANGEL
Who?
CORDELIA
Boy, I really do fall for the dumb ones. You know how you're always trying to save, oh, every single person in the world? Did it ever occur to you you were one of them?
ANGEL
No, it never did.
CORDELIA
Well, you made the list, gorgeous. And you needed some help.
ANGEL
And you were the one that helped me.
CORDELIA
I did my part.
(sits beside Angel)
ANGEL
Lindsey wasted a lot of energy trying to make me doubt myself. I know it's not even close to over, but I do feel like I can do this. Wolfram & Hart, whatever's coming, I feel like we can beat it.
CORDELIA
I know.
ANGEL
You do?
CORDELIA
I always did. I... I just needed you to know it, too.
ANGEL
So all that stuff about the deals with the devil...
CORDELIA
(nods)
Was God's honest truth.
(looks at Angel)
But you're bigger than that. You'll win this in the end.
(stands, steps away)
I, uh... just wish I could be there to see it.
ANGEL
What do you mean? You're not...
CORDELIA
(turns to face Angel)
I can't stay. This isn't me anymore. You can say goodbye to the gang for me, explain everything once you understand.
ANGEL
That's gonna be never.
(walks toward her)
I need you here.
CORDELIA
(with tears in her eyes)
Don't make it hard, Angel. I'm just on a different road... and this is my off-ramp. The Powers That Be owed me one, and I didn't waste it. I got my guy back on track.
ANGEL
Cordy, there's just—
CORDELIA
(touches his face)
We take what we can get, champ, and we do our best with it. I'll be seeing you.
(smiles through her tears, turns to walk out of the office)
(stops, turns around, and walks quickly up to Angel)
Oh, what the hell. One for the road?
(kisses Angel, but moments later, the telephone rings)
ANGEL
You know, um... I don't...I don't need to get that.
CORDELIA
(tenderly straightens his tie)
That you have to get.
(Angel walks toward the phone)
Oh... and you're welcome.
ANGEL
(answers the phone)
Hello. Yes, I know. She's... but that's impossible. She's standing right—
(turns to look for Cordelia, but she's not there; he becomes visibly upset)
I'm sorry. Yeah.
(choking up)
When did she die? Did she, um... she never did wake up? I see.
(hangs up, looks out to where Cordelia was standing moments earlier)
Thank you.
Fade to black.